Make up and Miscellaneous: What are you doing? - FML

What are you doing?

By anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wareham

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 838

You deserved it 4 579

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Same thing different taste

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By AshleyP - 04/04/2014 14:17 - United Kingdom

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 453

You deserved it 4 556

By bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 979

You deserved it 3 858

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 059

You deserved it 1 240

By Noname - 23/02/2009 04:50 - United States

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out I'd grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 297

You deserved it 41 817

John Tucker would've known what to do.

By Dan - 09/10/2017 04:30

Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 3 107

By "mindy12182" - 29/12/2018 17:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 391

You deserved it 621

By redisnotmycolor - 16/11/2009 01:46 - United States

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 982

You deserved it 3 552

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 02:00 - Germany - Norden

Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 126

Bad pranks are annoying

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 20:00

Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 698

You deserved it 322

Whooped

By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 139

Next

Top comments

ILoveFluttershy 3

Thursday 31 May 2012 19:00

"I swear it's not what it looks like!"

Queen_Cosmos 7

Thursday 31 May 2012 19:00

Explain what happened, she may be suspicious, but it's worth a try.

Comments

iloveursister 4

Thursday 31 May 2012 20:11

"I told you not to bother me when im cleaning my room!"

Pandacupcakelove 26

Thursday 31 May 2012 20:17

Yikes :/ Oh well, guess all you can do is explain what happened and hope she believes you...

kitkat2014 6

Thursday 31 May 2012 20:24

Yes, YES!!!!! SUCK HARDER!!!!! Don't you think it would have been more appropriate to use a hair dryer to blow it off? A hair dryer noise coming from the bathroom is a little less suspicious....

maxwells_hammer 5

Thursday 31 May 2012 20:26

The mental image that you just left in my head loserman makes me cringe. :[

taranasaurus 5

Thursday 31 May 2012 20:51

I bet that felt good.

JubJub1991 4

Thursday 31 May 2012 21:17

You're a pioneer for the first suck job

onelove858 5

Thursday 31 May 2012 21:27

Could be OCD and that's why the got the vacuum

florencesummer 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:00

That sucks dick. You'll have to cover up on that almost as much as you so with your face.

davide223 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:24

You shouldve said "hey, I gotta do what my boyfriend doesn't."

xStaciexLynnx 15

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:52

What kind of face powder are you people using?! When I spill my powder on myself I just use my hand to wipe it off and it works fine.

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The Top

Today, I was listening to music on my Bluetooth wireless headphones, when I put them around my neck to do something. Later, I put them back on to continue listening to my music. Even later on, I was looking for them and couldn't find them. I thought I had lost them, but then realized they were still on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 759

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 11

The Top

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 799

You deserved it 5 955

Today, my ex-wife refuses to return to Canada from the Caribbean if there are any new named Covid variants. I don't care about her, but this includes my children. She really does not want to return because she is anti-vax, cannot travel, and likes the local men. So what if the kids don't get educated? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 226

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 523

You deserved it 4 741

Today, my "best friend" invited me to drink with her and a couple other friends. She told me to "just bring a few bucks for beer". When I got there, no one else had brought money, including her. They only invited me because I'm the only one with a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 721

You deserved it 4 300

Today, my (now ex) boyfriend came home from work at 8 p.m., monologued about how he doesn't love me anymore for two hours, and walked out on me. In the middle of quarantine. Out of nowhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 915

You deserved it 163

Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 570

You deserved it 291