Make up and Miscellaneous: What are you doing? - FML

What are you doing?

By anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wareham

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 841

You deserved it 4 580

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Same thing different taste

Experimental

By AshleyP - 04/04/2014 14:17 - United Kingdom

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 456

You deserved it 4 556

By bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 3 860

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 1 241

Puppet show

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out I'd grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 457

You deserved it 42 240

John Tucker would've known what to do.

By Dan - 09/10/2017 04:30

Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 3 111

By mindy12182 - 29/12/2018 17:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 624

By redisnotmycolor - 16/11/2009 01:46 - United States

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 984

You deserved it 3 553

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 02:00 - Germany - Norden

Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 127

Bad pranks are annoying

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 20:00

Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 703

You deserved it 324

Whooped

By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 140

Next

Top comments

ILoveFluttershy 3

Thursday 31 May 2012 19:00

"I swear it's not what it looks like!"

Queen_Cosmos 7

Thursday 31 May 2012 19:00

Explain what happened, she may be suspicious, but it's worth a try.

Comments

iloveursister 4

Thursday 31 May 2012 20:11

"I told you not to bother me when im cleaning my room!"

Pandacupcakelove 26

Thursday 31 May 2012 20:17

Yikes :/ Oh well, guess all you can do is explain what happened and hope she believes you...

kitkat2014 6

Thursday 31 May 2012 20:24

Yes, YES!!!!! SUCK HARDER!!!!! Don't you think it would have been more appropriate to use a hair dryer to blow it off? A hair dryer noise coming from the bathroom is a little less suspicious....

maxwells_hammer 5

Thursday 31 May 2012 20:26

The mental image that you just left in my head loserman makes me cringe. :[

taranasaurus 5

Thursday 31 May 2012 20:51

I bet that felt good.

JubJub1991 4

Thursday 31 May 2012 21:17

You're a pioneer for the first suck job

onelove858 5

Thursday 31 May 2012 21:27

Could be OCD and that's why the got the vacuum

florencesummer 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:00

That sucks dick. You'll have to cover up on that almost as much as you so with your face.

davide223 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:24

You shouldve said "hey, I gotta do what my boyfriend doesn't."

xStaciexLynnx 15

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:52

What kind of face powder are you people using?! When I spill my powder on myself I just use my hand to wipe it off and it works fine.

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Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Love Smells Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Music Social Media Grieving Boredom Anniversary Ironic Intimacy Abuse AITA Am I overreacting? Drunk Alcohol Transportation Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 098

You deserved it 13 428

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 405

You deserved it 4 186

The Top

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 125

Today, I was annoyed, because everyone I know is going more places than I am, and it’s just really hard not being able to be like my peers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 446

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 385

You deserved it 3 654

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 668

You deserved it 2 293

Today, I caught one of my students checking out my butt while I was helping another student at his table. I teach 8th grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 414

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 566

You deserved it 5 950