Make up and Miscellaneous: What are you doing? - FML

What are you doing?

By anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wareham

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 841

You deserved it 4 580

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Same thing different taste

Experimental

By AshleyP - 04/04/2014 14:17 - United Kingdom

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 456

You deserved it 4 556

By bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 3 860

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 1 241

Puppet show

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out I'd grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 457

You deserved it 42 240

John Tucker would've known what to do.

By Dan - 09/10/2017 04:30

Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 3 111

By mindy12182 - 29/12/2018 17:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 624

By redisnotmycolor - 16/11/2009 01:46 - United States

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 984

You deserved it 3 553

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 02:00 - Germany - Norden

Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 127

Bad pranks are annoying

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 20:00

Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 703

You deserved it 324

Whooped

By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 140

Next

Top comments

ILoveFluttershy 3

Thursday 31 May 2012 19:00

"I swear it's not what it looks like!"

Queen_Cosmos 7

Thursday 31 May 2012 19:00

Explain what happened, she may be suspicious, but it's worth a try.

Comments

AwsumShyGuy 12

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:57

Except, women don't have a crotch.

Derpyhooves7 5

Friday 1 June 2012 1:30

Yes, they do actually. Why wouldn't women have a crotch?

Shrike 23

Friday 1 June 2012 3:50

90, you must be ******' brain-dead so I'll be nice and give you the definition. "Crotch," noun, meaning "the part of the human body between the legs where they join the torso."

BCrazzi 9

Thursday 31 May 2012 23:04

Awks...:P

hotcommodity01 1

Thursday 31 May 2012 23:06

If that's the most embarrassing thing your sister has seen you do, consider yourself lucky.

jwbfml 11

Friday 1 June 2012 2:08

I could never vacuum my crotch without the fear of losing my penis.

smallfrie32 6

Friday 1 June 2012 3:46

Didn't think you Brits were into that kinds thing ;)

katie345 1

Friday 1 June 2012 5:47

Applying makeup, she comes and vacuums your crotch.? Wait what?

lixone 7

Friday 1 June 2012 9:58

You need to work on your reading comprehension.

pokefan813 16

Friday 1 June 2012 5:51

For some odd reason I did picture her with no pants...

nanxi 30

Friday 1 June 2012 7:50

For some reason, OP was a guy at first in my mind while I was reading this. It made for an interesting interpretation.

angelinaanimerg 7

Friday 1 June 2012 21:51

Eh not really an fml . Easier explained

andrizzel 6

Friday 1 June 2012 22:27

Don't get too carried away:o

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Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Love Smells Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Music Social Media Grieving Boredom Anniversary Ironic Intimacy Abuse AITA Am I overreacting? Drunk Alcohol Transportation Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was, "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 270

You deserved it 14 173

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, with whom I've been with for four years. I've been in Australia for the last two months and before I left, he bought a box of 12 condoms, saying we would use them when I got back. We went to the bedroom and I opened the box. There was one left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 965

You deserved it 262

The Top

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 582

You deserved it 20 542

Today, I learned Morse code. My whole family said it was useless, and that I'm wasting my life away. I just wanted to learn a new skill in my free time… FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 116

Today, the girl I like would rather meet potential partners online, some in different states, and wonders why nothing works out. Apparently the guy who took her on dates, AKA me, is just friend material. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 801

Today, a customer bought a luggage tag and asked what it was for. I explained and she asked if she had to hang it around her neck. I explained again and she said she didn’t have her luggage with her so did she have to hang it around her neck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 890

You deserved it 172

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating because I've been buying generic groceries instead of name brand to save money. Apparently, I must be using the extra money on another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 030

You deserved it 1 183

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 098

You deserved it 2 849