Health: What goes up…

What goes up…

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 11:10 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 770

You deserved it 10 797

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Same thing different taste

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 612

By monsterdanceman - 23/10/2013 23:16 - United States - Ozark

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 156

You deserved it 4 892

By Kryometric - 29/03/2015 06:38 - United States - Coupeville

Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 964

You deserved it 2 579

By Anonymous - 30/04/2011 19:03 - United States

Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 273

You deserved it 10 703

By Upside-Down Sleeper. - 02/05/2015 21:59 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 782

You deserved it 5 385

By pussyOUT - 01/09/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 224

You deserved it 16 100

Aaaaaaaaaaah!

By whyme_ss - 20/07/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 612

You deserved it 26 972

Freaked out

By Cliffhanger - 10/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 725

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 260

You deserved it 4 968

By carl_carl_ - 13/07/2015 15:10 - United States - Wichita

Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 828

You deserved it 2 200

SirThuswindburn 5

Sunday 27 January 2013 19:21

Some people pee when they're scared. And then there's you.

obnum 19

Sunday 27 January 2013 19:20

Did it fall back into your butt?? O.O

Comments

nimnam 4

Tuesday 29 January 2013 21:55

New meaning to being "shit faced"?

nishantvas 13

Wednesday 30 January 2013 5:49

good thing you haven't watched final destination !!

Raykyogrou03 12

Wednesday 30 January 2013 18:01

You must have been wearing heels or lifts to pass the height requirement

Raykyogrou03 12

Wednesday 30 January 2013 18:01

You must have been wearing heels or lifts to pass the height requirement

Foodismylife 3

Wednesday 30 January 2013 18:01

Well, Holy Shit.

darkshaft1 8

Friday 1 February 2013 15:15

Bringing fresh meaning to the saying "shyt happens".

7yzz 18

Sunday 10 February 2013 11:22

@184 its "shit happens". If you're mature enough to say 'shit' properly then just dont do it at all.

JustNatalie 8

Saturday 14 September 2013 22:03

It's deadly dangerous to be upside down for more than five minutes.

PiQo 6

Sunday 16 March 2014 9:07

Except if you knew anything about how roller coasters work you'd know this is impossible

EthanTheStrange 4

Friday 16 May 2014 0:26

Chocolate raaaaiiinnn.

PiQo 6

Friday 31 October 2014 8:18

...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had awesome sex with my ex. Again. I broke up with her a few weeks ago as she admittedly hadn't been attracted to me anymore in a long time. Now she says that after we broke up she doesn't feel any pressure anymore, and can enjoy sex with me again like she did before she moved in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 199

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 351

The Top

Today, I found out that the person who I considered my best friend actually hates my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 117

Today, I think my boyfriend is having an affair. With Joe Rogan. Why? Every time I mention something, he basically replies, "Joe Rogan said…" For example: Vaccines? "Joe Rogan said yada yada yada." Weed? "A guest on Joe Rogan's podcast said…" And so on. I HATE YOU, ROGAN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 228

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 679

You deserved it 10 831

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 250

You deserved it 38 808

Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 591

You deserved it 6 891

Today, after I was with my ex for five years before we split up because she didn’t want to marry, have children, or seemingly grow up at all, now a year later she has married some dude and is two months into their first planned pregnancy. I guess she just didn’t want to marry or have kids with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 183

What goes up…

Same thing different taste

Bad moon rising

Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Freaked out

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