Health, Doctor, Healthy Lifestyle and Food: What's on the menu?

What's on the menu?

By Anonymous - 08/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, my doctor wants me to avoid carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. Yes, I am looking for another doctor while I scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 100

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Same thing different taste

Second opinion, please

By fishyrael - 25/08/2021 22:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I went to a new doctor for an injury. Instead, the doctor only focused on my weight and tried to basically prescribe me anorexia. She tried to tell me that 750 calories a day was fine and brushed off my exercise regimen as, "Exercise is great, but you'll lose weight faster if there are no calories to burn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 177

By Anonymous - 18/10/2017 16:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, after extensive tests due to pregnancy-related issues, I've been told my diet must change. I can no longer eat salt, sugar, gluten, or meat, and lactose is questionable. The doctor hopes it will end after the birth. Seven months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 360

Charlatans

By freakofnature - 31/03/2012 16:17 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 625

You deserved it 2 398

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 00:20 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 650

You deserved it 3 165

Great input, thanks

By Anonymous - 15/06/2019 06:30 - United States - Durham

Today, I had a doctor's appointment because I've recently lost weight. I'm already underweight, and I was concerned because the weight loss has been causing some other health concerns to worsen. My doctor's exact words of advice? "Eating food usually leads to weight gain." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 352

Get a second opinion

By Anonymous - 14/09/2022 11:30 - Lithuania

Today, I went to see a doctor due to some gastric distress I have. I came out with directions to buy a blood pressure monitor, I'm prohibited from doing sports, and have a possible diagnosis of arterial hypertension which I am way too young to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 123

By fucking moron - 09/12/2014 09:39 - United States - Mount Holly

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 257

You deserved it 2 870

Seek help?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Forest Grove

Today, everything I eat makes me sick, so I don't know what to eat anymore now. My BMI is low and I'm absolutely starving. I can't even eat rice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 123

By DarkMaskDiva - 16/06/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, I found out the medications my doctor gave me for depression are making me fat. My main reason for depression is an eating disorder. Now, I'm fat instead of just thinking I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 129

You deserved it 6 141

Lobbied

By not taking those! - 06/10/2020 23:07 - United States

Today, I called my insurance company begging for a new doctor. All my current one does is prescribe antidepressants for everything. Migraines? AD! Dizziness? AD! Birth control? AD! I’ve been having rough periods and I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to push pills to bill us more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 89

Lost Reggie 19

Monday 8 July 2024 14:04

That leaves fiber?

stickyface 16

Monday 8 July 2024 15:39

Grass clippings and tap water. Basically, you're now a mobile compost bin.

Comments

Lost Reggie 19

Monday 8 July 2024 14:04

That leaves fiber?

stickyface 16

Monday 8 July 2024 15:39

Grass clippings and tap water. Basically, you're now a mobile compost bin.

Hangryko 29

Monday 8 July 2024 21:32

I've had to do that diet for two weeks to manage a flare from one of my long term conditions. That's not a sustainable diet for the long term.

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The Top

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 127

You deserved it 7 332

Today, my boyfriend went through my phone while I was in the bathroom, to check if I was cheating. I'm not. He was looking for some leverage for when he told me he's been fucking my best friend for the last year, he could use something against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 438

You deserved it 259

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 934

You deserved it 29 425

Today, I realized what pulling an all-nighter means in reality. You’re psyched and active for about two hours after the decision, then you plod along bleary-eyed for another 4-8, after which you inevitably fall into bed, only to end up tired and with a fucked-up sleep cycle for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 487

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 427

You deserved it 7 616

Today, my 9 year-old son actually thought he could blackmail me for money and an Xbox with a very badly photoshopped picture of me in bed with Hermione from the Harry Potter films. My wife thinks this is hilarious, but I’m worried if he’s doing this at 9, what will he be doing at 18? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 235

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 348

You deserved it 5 267

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend has been lying to me about having a long-term illness requiring multiple trips to the doctor's. She isn't ill, she was cheating on me with the local GP. So I’ve literally driven her to the clinic and then sat in the waiting room while she screwed the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 262

You deserved it 340