Cars, Sextoys and Transportation: What what?

What what?

By Anonymous - 25/10/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 813

You deserved it 3 515

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Same thing different taste

By Char - 24/09/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Gravesend

Today, whilst at work, I had a woman come in with a problem with the seat in her car not moving backwards or forwards. There was a dildo stuck in the chair rail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 279

By Anonymous - 12/02/2012 04:25 - United States

Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 779

You deserved it 36 080

By someone - 09/12/2013 12:59 - United States - Mogadore

Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 152

You deserved it 2 864

By ummWhat? - 23/12/2018 02:00

Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 169

You deserved it 202

By ocroyalty - 01/02/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 535

You deserved it 2 669

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 132

By jjuuuuuuulless - 17/12/2018 17:30

Today, my car's parking gear and parking brake failed. I watched as it rolled down a big hill into someone's 2017, $30,000 camper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 296

You deserved it 316

By carless - 15/08/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 911

You deserved it 4 232

By nozVail - 20/11/2015 23:52 - United States

Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 395

You deserved it 3 743

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 288

You deserved it 2 451

saIty 17

Tuesday 25 October 2011 12:01

Or maybe your car is a Transformer and was playing with itself.

WallyTheWombat 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 12:04

Lol someone put a ***** in your "tailpipe".

Comments

az09909 1

Wednesday 26 October 2011 5:58

That's riDICulous hahaha get it :)

clewie 8

Wednesday 26 October 2011 6:21

I think I know a girl from a few FMLs up that could use that *****.

nubx 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 7:02

At least you won't have to use a shower head now

FrankHotpants 31

Wednesday 26 October 2011 7:11

The olde ***** in the tailpipe...classic.

dansco 24

Wednesday 26 October 2011 8:24

Sorry about that, was a bit drunk last night and couldn't find any bananas lol ;)

CaliforniaErin 13

Wednesday 26 October 2011 12:32

Shove THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

corrinalee3 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 23:57

Did you keep it when you took took it out HAHAH just kidding but watch everyone thumb me down for tht

HauntedOne 3

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:19

Happy "Free *****" day!!!

BloodMonger13 9

Monday 31 October 2011 11:25

did it ever occure to you to just pull it out?

assparaguz 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 3:04

Classic

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 811

You deserved it 9 769

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

The Top

Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 610

You deserved it 5 784

Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 573

You deserved it 2 415

Today, I started a new job that was highly recommended by a worker there. The same coworker that is now making my life a living hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 741

You deserved it 827

Today, my house cleaner discovered I cross-dress as she was cleaning. She found the pretty nightgowns I wear to bed and other items. Now she wants extra money or she will make my cross dressing public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 371

Today, I realized why my stomach is upset: in a house with my two adult parents and one 17 year-old sister, we have somehow gone an entire week without fresh vegetables or fruit. I didn't notice because I was trying to figure out how to handle them forgetting my 30th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 881

Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 284

You deserved it 6 942

What what?

Same thing different taste

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