Miscellaneous: What?!

What?!

By needmorelocks - 03/07/2012 05:36 - United States - Santa Paula

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 138

You deserved it 2 787

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 664

You deserved it 3 051

By daRN - 02/07/2009 19:34 - Bahrain

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 116

You deserved it 3 089

Get out of my way

By toyotasmash - 07/10/2010 23:37 - United States

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 862

You deserved it 3 554

Leave me out of it

By Marissa Di Stefano - 05/01/2021 17:01

Today, my sister and mom were arguing. My sister was being really nasty to my mom, and decided to get nasty with me and drag me into the argument. Naturally, I got nasty back at her and we started fighting. My mom yelled at me for getting nasty with my sister, and kicked me out of the house for “being too nasty.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 209

Domestic

By Anonymous - 16/12/2022 15:00

Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 179

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 22:24 - Canada - Sackville

Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 093

You deserved it 2 017

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 196

You deserved it 3 154

Manipulation 101

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 09:00 - Australia - Buderim

Today, my psycho sister came home. Why did she leave? To manipulate my parents to let her live here rent free. My mother built her a new bedroom, twice the size of my unit, so she can fuck my ex with privacy. She earns 4 times what I do, but doesn't have to pay rent. I own the house with mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 153

Demented

By Anonymous - 16/06/2013 18:49 - France - Le Rove

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 373

You deserved it 3 164

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 812

You deserved it 389

EvilPotato 14

Tuesday 3 July 2012 12:24

If my sister did that to me I would be seriously scared, don't bail her out OP! let her sit and reflect that that was ****** up.

Katirx 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 12:25

Get her checked out at the psych ward in your hospital. I'm surprised the cops didn't take her straight there.

Comments

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 3 July 2012 15:15

You need to disconnect from your mom and sister

zyme 11

Tuesday 3 July 2012 15:16

Too bad you can't Marchman Act her...

ralip 3

Tuesday 3 July 2012 15:23

No!!

nerdchic 5

Tuesday 3 July 2012 15:27

Haha **** that

Arrawyn 12

Tuesday 3 July 2012 15:28

That shit cray

zeekroo 4

Tuesday 3 July 2012 15:29

**** your mom don't pay it

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:09

OP shouldn't **** their mom. That's incestuous.

plzjstfml 0

Thursday 5 July 2012 16:27

Lol

mojo5678 5

Tuesday 3 July 2012 16:17

If I was you I'd tell my mom to **** off

hungergamer 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 16:28

What mother makes someone do that

batwomen_fml 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 16:47

That's ******. She should have just asked if she could live with you....good for you for having her arrested.

lumpojoe 4

Tuesday 3 July 2012 16:52

That is like on Christmas morning she opens all you presents and takes them then your mom says oh well better luck next time

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The Top

Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 813

You deserved it 1 399

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 397

You deserved it 5 121

The Top

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 686

You deserved it 5 272

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 635

You deserved it 57 727

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 919

You deserved it 43 078

Today, I would like to say I pinched a nerve throwing punches, but no, I did it by sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 097

You deserved it 1 531

Today, as I was brushing my teeth, I heard my mum praying to God to help her "get rid of such a stupid child". I have no idea what I've done wrong, and she's refused to talk to me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 814

You deserved it 434

Today, in bed, my wife took her vibrator and started masturbating. Feeling excited, I went down to help her. She told me to knock it off 'cause she couldn't focus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 961

You deserved it 642