When you brag a bit too much By Lewis - 11/12/2018 00:30 do not count your chickens before they hatch I agree, your life sucks 230 You deserved it 152 Share Tweet Share
Today, my friends and I were kicked out of a Red Robin after the manager told us that our server accused us of making "sexually suggestive gestures" towards her. The gesture in question was the circle game. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 120 You deserved it 1 497
Today, we got back from vacation. In the lead up to our vacation, my girlfriend talked excitedly about all the sex we could have. When we got to the hotel, I heard, "I can't be comfortable, what if they hear us in the hall?" After we got home, first thing was, "I want to deep clean the bedroom, sex can wait." FML I agree, your life sucks 1 222 You deserved it 288
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 1 142
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 535 You deserved it 5 894
Today, my boyfriend still won't get a job, because he's convinced he's going to make millions inventing and selling carbonated ketchup. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 256 You deserved it 2 960
Today, I finished birthday shopping for my husband, my son, and a close friend, who all have birthdays within a week. I was proud of myself for being organized, until I remembered: my husband has a twin sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 815 You deserved it 182
Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML I agree, your life sucks 55 052 You deserved it 4 347
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 658 You deserved it 36 376
Run Forest...Run!