When you brag a bit too much By Lewis - 11/12/2018 00:30 do not count your chickens before they hatch I agree, your life sucks 231 You deserved it 153 Share Tweet Share
Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 572 You deserved it 71
Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML I agree, your life sucks 78 482 You deserved it 14 260
Today, I thought I had two cats, an albino and a tuxedo, but apparently I have four. I just discovered that an orange cat and a black cat have somehow gotten into my basement and made themselves at home. There's no way in hell I can afford four cats. Oh, and the cats I actually own hate them. FML I agree, your life sucks 676 You deserved it 186
Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML I agree, your life sucks 53 119 You deserved it 7 778
Today, I was planning to propose to my girlfriend. I got out the ring and… she did the same. Coincidentally, she'd planned to propose to me, so we'd both got rings. Too bad our perfect moment was ruined by the bigot who called us “lezzers” and poured a pitcher of beer over both our heads. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 433 You deserved it 298
Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML I agree, your life sucks 33 941 You deserved it 5 112
Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 532 You deserved it 2 608
Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 433 You deserved it 3 772
Run Forest...Run!