Love and Kids: Wide words

Wide words

By julia - 11/06/2011 11:12 - United States

Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 095

You deserved it 7 822

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Same thing different taste

By dumped - 05/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 038

You deserved it 4 182

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 15:36 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 952

You deserved it 1 976

By Noname - 03/02/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 738

You deserved it 7 806

By Anonymous - 10/06/2009 13:12 - United States

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 234

You deserved it 7 303

By daycare worker - 23/12/2016 18:41 - United States - Houston

Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 773

You deserved it 1 752

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 715

You deserved it 3 168

By Anonymous - 20/08/2019 00:01

Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 795

You deserved it 247

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 645

You deserved it 24 790

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 850

You deserved it 6 590

Beautiful sentiment

By emily geo - 03/02/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my daughter is twelve and doesn’t have a single friend, despite being kind and sweet. When I asked her why, she said, “All the other kids want me to die.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 98

franticravyn 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:50

that's cute in a way…

Coon123 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:50

mature 5 year old

Comments

kyrintethron 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:18

Very cute, lol - not really an FML, but cute nonetheless.

colorfullyemo 4

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:20

i've read this before.

PancakesEqualLov 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:20

i'm a proud gaga fan. :]

cupcake90210 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:21

whoa

Oxycodone 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:23

how is this remotely an fml? HOW is YOUR life ****** because a 5 year old told you she wants to be a nun?

bammagirl1994 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:24

I wish I was tht smart

ShieruTrancy 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:28

how is this an FML? it's sad and cute, at least she thinks about shit like that,

raytaybinks 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:30

...how is that an FML? would you rather your daughter have a broken heart?

hideyoself 4

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:31

looks like you've been brainwashing your daughter with negative experiences of your own. ydi

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Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 579

You deserved it 6 808

Today, my father came to my sister's place and yelled at her, "I knew it, you're such a whore!" because she slept with her new boyfriend. He's her first boyfriend in five years, since my father scared her previous boyfriend because of my father's possessive behavior. My sister is 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 971

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, I was directing traffic at work during one of the hottest days of the year. Not only do I have to stand in the heat and exhaust fumes for minimum wage, I also had to endure people asking me "Aren't you hot?" as they drove past me in their air conditioned cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 349

You deserved it 3 635

Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 171

Today, my grandma calls me, accusing me of theft. I was home all day and watching Orange Is The New Black. When I asked what I stole, she said her car keys. I don’t even have my license. I told her to look in her purse. She found them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 138

Today, I walked out the bathroom and saw my girlfriend peeing in a mug. She said that's the mug she uses when she can't hold it anymore. That's the mug I put my coffee in every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 209

Today, my boyfriend trapped me in a corner of our apartment and kept making sounds that he knows cause me to become violently angry (I have misophonia). He wouldn't stop, even though I was practically begging him to, and now he's mad that I freaked out and broke his nose to get away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 139

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 420

You deserved it 2 414

Wide words

Same thing different taste

Beautiful sentiment

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