Intimacy: Wrong question

Wrong question

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 14:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked, "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently, I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 647

You deserved it 48 862

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 578

You deserved it 4 949

By desertboi69 - 16/03/2019 16:00 - United States - Ridgecrest

Today, I was preparing my raw meat with tire grease. Literally. My girlfriend replaced my teriyaki sauce with tire grease, because, she later told me, she had sex with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 497

You deserved it 212

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 3 235

Effective

By Nublet - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 406

You deserved it 5 582

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 617

You deserved it 8 754

Courtesy visit

By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 520

You deserved it 362

This is America

By liz - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 774

You deserved it 18 526

By notsexy - 28/07/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 768

You deserved it 8 442

Of all the places…

By rastamerican - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - San Jose

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 228

You deserved it 1 883

Moodbreaker

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to shower together, and things were getting heated until we actually got into the shower and found my roommate's fingernail clippings all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 487

You deserved it 1 224

Intoxicunt 5

Saturday 1 August 2009 19:30

So rub mint chocolate chip ice cream on your dick. She'll be all over it. :]

lmmmr 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 19:32

Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. YDI.

Comments

Kade20 4

Tuesday 9 October 2012 10:13

No guy can do that for any woman lol you asked.

octaviamarieb 18

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:56

mint chocolate chip does wonders...

DenBriZel 31

Monday 27 January 2014 13:11

To be fair, mint chocolate chip is REALLY good.

cwl727 32

Tuesday 25 March 2014 22:13

Never should have asked her.

Nyx7 24

Saturday 20 September 2014 0:46

Well you asked...try spicing things up in the bedroom

MightAsWellFml 7

Sunday 2 November 2014 23:45

Nothing can beat ice cream.

ChrisPo1992 7

Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:07

What a stupid question.

SirMrButters 28

Thursday 9 July 2015 2:47

I'd like mint chocolate chip ice cream more too

girlthatsmiles 8

Saturday 17 October 2015 18:40

You never ask a girl that probably it was sex but you killed the moment of being together relaxing eating ice cream

cantfixme36 28

Wednesday 23 December 2015 21:17

I would have said the same thing. Even my boyfriend thinks food is better than sex.. Most of my friends do, too.

Keywords

My ex Love Awkward Jealousy AITA Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Work Relatable Money Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

The Top

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 504

You deserved it 52 253

Today, my parents are furious and are refusing to let me see my kids. Why? They're raising my kids after I lost them to foster care and I stopped fighting for custody, and just announced my pregnancy with my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 1 844

Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 901

You deserved it 2 781

Today, I caught a cold. Turns out that the neighbours who have noisy children have also caught COVID and have to isolate for a week. I not only have to deal with a cold, but I have to overhear kids shows and crying through the thin wall dividing our houses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 910

Today, I drank two and a half Panera charged lemonades to feel more motivated and ended up feeling itchy and overstimulated due to the lethal caffeine-sugar combo and got nothing done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 633

Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 244

Same thing different taste

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