Intimacy: Wrong sort of poking

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 194

You deserved it 9 739

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Same thing different taste

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 654

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 459

You deserved it 6 328

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 040

You deserved it 6 802

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 405

You deserved it 4 241

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 424

You deserved it 49 349

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 722

You deserved it 6 022

Major romcom vibes

By staciedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 541

You deserved it 5 019

One nation, under rod

By LaLa - 20/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 214

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 47 605

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 773

You deserved it 13 694

jaysvn 2

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:18

that's a dick move.

naxeeb 33

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:16

Maybe his one-eyed-snake was trying to find a partner? :P In any case, you should put ice on that OP!

Comments

NewGrl 4

Wednesday 25 September 2013 4:58

One thing I don't understand. Why was he trying to hit your forehead with his dick...

silvanawernli 5

Wednesday 25 September 2013 5:33

first of all, why would he even try to hit his girlfriend's forehead with his penis?

justinguy 4

Sunday 29 September 2013 23:20

pink eye ?

kitkat47 3

Thursday 19 December 2013 23:19

This isn't a regular thing is it?

kkroberts072592 7

Friday 5 September 2014 15:15

Ummm how tall are you lmfao

msdtreadwell 15

Monday 22 December 2014 21:03

The old 'I slipped' story huh

cronagorgon 11

Tuesday 16 June 2015 17:37

OPEN WIDE ;-;

FweakofCydonia 40

Thursday 3 March 2016 19:50

*Mortal Kombat music* FATALITY!

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 34 265

You deserved it 14 127

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I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 82

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I agree, your life sucks 4 297

You deserved it 1 134

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I agree, your life sucks 49 863

You deserved it 13 479

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I agree, your life sucks 53 145

You deserved it 6 039

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I agree, your life sucks 14 294

You deserved it 9 537