ACAB, Cops and Miscellaneous: Wrong 'un - FML

Wrong 'un

By TheBeautifulOne - 23/08/2012 13:42 - United Kingdom - Ayr

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 110

You deserved it 82 176

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Same thing different taste

By Is that..? - 17/07/2014 03:51 - United States - Aurora

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 924

You deserved it 4 866

Stolen valor

By Anonymous - 09/04/2020 08:00

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a picture a popular girl I don't talk to had posted of her fake ID. She had used my full name and identical signature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 123

Unforgettable

By bex - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with two old friends from high school. While at the restaurant, we saw a girl who we graduated with. The girl gave both of them hugs, then introduced herself to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 024

You deserved it 2 302

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 16:30 - United States - Tampa

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 087

You deserved it 4 238

By GDBeast - 09/01/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 462

You deserved it 6 316

By fernie vazquez - 10/06/2012 09:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 370

You deserved it 20 496

Fake it til you make it

By tsardaukar - 01/04/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 611

You deserved it 72 754

Office embarrassment

By mog - 07/11/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 887

By Anonymous - 14/08/2019 00:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I was arrested for a crime that happened 27 years ago. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 585

You deserved it 144

By single again - 06/09/2013 00:29 - United States - Chico

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 121

You deserved it 5 300

Next

Top comments

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

Thursday 23 August 2012 18:53

It's funny how people like you turn out.

Zedd_fml 8

Thursday 23 August 2012 18:53

Karma is a bitch,ain't it.

Comments

misswallflower 8

Saturday 5 October 2013 8:27

"TheBeautifulOne"? I'm all for being confident, but that seems slightly narcissistic. Seems someone didn't learn their lesson.

anon137 7

Tuesday 28 January 2014 18:34

Karma,.......it bites

Comoke1024 19

Tuesday 11 February 2014 19:25

I'm guessing from your username "TheBeautifulOne" that you were one of those preppy girls who made fun of anyone outside of your social circle. I hope that girl got every bit of pleasure she deserved out of your arrest :)

doglover100 28

Friday 4 April 2014 23:33

Your username, seriously?

Gweedo65 16

Friday 20 June 2014 15:24

You're probably some bitch junky with spots all over your face

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 31 August 2014 4:03

Karma's a bitch.

LeeEverett 20

Thursday 23 October 2014 0:18

You still have the nerve to call yourself the beautiful one?!?

thatfangirl 8

Thursday 25 December 2014 4:40

You totally deserved that for being a bitch.

burninsnow 23

Tuesday 7 April 2015 23:07

Oh how the tables have turned.

sunfox5508 11

Sunday 12 April 2015 17:50

Karma's back, you son of a bitch XD

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. I got nervous and tried to say, "Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you!" when I should’ve just said, "It’s nice to meet you." To make things worse, it came out as, "Nice to hear you, I’ve met a lot about you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 140

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 057

You deserved it 41 807

The Top

Today, I read an incoming message on my wife's phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 767

You deserved it 6 049

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 843

You deserved it 10 586

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 668

You deserved it 6 985

Today, in the middle of this heatwave, my mom has a fan in her bedroom and her precious dog has two fans pointing at her dog bed, which she apparently needs because she could overheat, poor thing. Meanwhile, I have zero fans in my room and can't sleep from the heat, but I get told to just deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 160

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 771

You deserved it 6 169

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 2 022