Sex, Wanker and Intimacy: WTF dude?

WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 143

You deserved it 8 543

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Same thing different taste

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 953

You deserved it 5 421

By Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 528

You deserved it 3 384

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 601

You deserved it 211

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 810

You deserved it 8 834

What the…

By bunny - 16/08/2009 13:58 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 342

You deserved it 5 007

By Kyra.45 - 03/10/2013 22:46 - United States - Troy

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 183

You deserved it 32 498

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 5 722

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 579

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 142

You deserved it 559

alexm501 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 12:05

Hopefully it wasn't a banana

KennKenn 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 12:04

At least it wasn't apple pie.

Comments

mea_iloveskiing 26

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:13

Banana in his ass :D

texas_redneck88 10

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:18

Readin' this FML, that scene from "Good Luck Chuck" pops in my head LMFAO

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:19

Melons or peach's perhaps? ;-)

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:22

Was he trying and failing or getting there? Next time tell him to put the watermelon in the microwave.. just not for too long.

FYLDeep 25

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:24

Anal sex?

misszjen 7

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:30

I bet it was a Papaya, wasn't it?! ;)

baygirl564 9

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:38

At least it wasn't another girl

laceyanneman 7

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:45

This is off topic but could a guy enjoy masturbating with a donut? One with a whole ofcourse

DjeePee 24

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:47

Dunno, but I'm pretty sure the donut wouldn't enjoy it.

FYLDeep 25

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:52

I don't have to ********** to enjoy a donut...

laceyanneman 7

Tuesday 8 November 2011 14:35

Haha^ Hole not whole.it would probably be way sticky

justcallmebro 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 18:02

That's a good question

justanotherhuman 21

Wednesday 9 November 2011 4:25

I'm going to go with "anything that feels like a ****** is easily a viable substitute" in regards to masturbation involving... objects.

FroHo 8

Wednesday 9 November 2011 5:22

Haven't you heard? Donuts are bad for you.

APatt15 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:45

Maybe you should give it up..

GiggityGiggles 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:54

See what happens when you don't fulfill his needs!.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 3 148

The Top

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 095

You deserved it 3 245

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 734

You deserved it 38 816

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 783

You deserved it 3 736

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 722

You deserved it 22 421

Today, one of the houses had actors with chainsaws. I ran away screaming and slammed into a wall. So much for being macho this Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 1 351

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 985

You deserved it 6 876