Food, Delivery, Drugs and Disappointment: You have arrived at your destination

FML for mobile
Free

You have arrived at your destination

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 10:00

Today, an Edible Arrangements driver knocked on my door with the most delicious-looking gift! He was just asking for directions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 128

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Thanks, I guess…

By edible - 20/05/2009 20:01 - United States

Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 555

You deserved it 4 097

By Florida - 24/11/2016 03:04 - United States - Winchester

Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 968

You deserved it 713

Mix up

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 08:01

Today, I ordered DoorDash to my home. I sat outside waiting for it, starving, when my husband came out, laughing at me. The DoorDasher had called, I'd accidently sent it to my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 809

Dashed

By Anonymous - 12/07/2021 00:01

Today, my Doordash driver texted me to let me know my son had picked up the food I'd ordered. I don't have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 73

Charming

By Anonymous - 15/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, a delivery driver called me, wanting directions in a city that's halfway across the state from where I live. He insisted he was calling the right number (he wasn't), so I had to explain slowly that I don't live there, don't know where he is, and couldn't help him. He responded, "Fuck you, then," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 74

Mixup

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 23:00

Today, I had to Doordash lunch, due to an important work meeting in another timezone running incredibly long. I was trying to play it cool but I was starving. Finally, I get the notification that the food had been dropped off. I looked at the picture: it was delivered to my house instead of my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 456

Gig economy

By Doordean - 13/03/2023 12:00

Today, the dean of the university I go to delivered a DoorDash order to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 139

Thanks!

By Yuri - 29/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 378

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 311

You deserved it 4 392

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 138

You deserved it 5 255

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 January 2023 15:28

Tell him he's in the right place. Quick thinkers get the booty.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 January 2023 15:28

Tell him he's in the right place. Quick thinkers get the booty.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Relatable Periods Money Transportation Cars Animals Cats Embarrassing Neighbours Miscellaneous Kids Parenting Ironic Birthday Love Surprise Cute Awkward Shopping Exhausted Work Job interview Scary Argument Romantic Family Annoying Gross Weird

The Top

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 368

You deserved it 3 201

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 444

You deserved it 10 101

The Top

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 128

Today, two months into my new marketing job, I presented my first webinar live to over 300 people. Half the audience complained about the horrible sound quality, saying all they could hear was a Mickey Mouse squeaky sound. Turns out it wasn't the sound quality, it was my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 481

You deserved it 1 033

Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 887

You deserved it 8 325

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 879

You deserved it 6 749

Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 553

You deserved it 5 286

Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 94

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments