Love: You what now?

You what now?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 16:14 - United States - Redmond

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 172

You deserved it 3 289

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Same thing different taste

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 183

What are you doing?

By Tyler - 25/08/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 243

You deserved it 9 696

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 09:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 430

You deserved it 4 654

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 943

You deserved it 3 144

So happy together…

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 22:00

Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 149

By sexisdead - 31/07/2016 17:16

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 003

You deserved it 1 877

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 04:46 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 820

You deserved it 2 743

Detective work

By broken vows - 15/03/2014 21:48 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 469

You deserved it 4 868

By ballnchain - 30/03/2010 16:04 - United States

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 547

You deserved it 19 963

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 111

You deserved it 5 317

perdix 29

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:22

She probably just had the taste of penis on her lips and got confused. Honest mistake, no harm done :D

massinator5 4

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:25

Those magazines are evil, man

Comments

Caitie_kid 8

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:52

This comment is so awesome.

gameover18 17

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:56

... she crazy.

underthesea12 24

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:56

Busted!

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 31 August 2013 5:37

If your breath smells like penis, you need to brush better, or use mouth wash. Especially after giving blow jobs.

sweet23_fml 11

Saturday 31 August 2013 17:23

don't forget to floss....

soldiat_fml 17

Saturday 31 August 2013 5:42

It's Cosmo...what do you expect?

SasquatchDeluxe 10

Saturday 31 August 2013 5:59

You're married to a nutcase. FYL

incoherentrmblr 21

Saturday 31 August 2013 6:11

Cosmopolitan is evil, indeed. Always creates a problem. Cosmo is for some men as World of Warcraft & Call of Duty is for some women.

cappellaaa 23

Saturday 31 August 2013 6:29

sounds like your wife has an interesting past...

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 31 August 2013 6:52

I don't think it was actually Cosmo; I'm a subscriber to it and there hasn't been an article about detecting the taste of penis on your man's mouth. As for what magazine that might actually be? I don't know but I'm staying away from it. Good grief...