Kids: You what now?

You what now?

By tryena - 28/02/2009 10:59 - United States

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 306

You deserved it 92 950

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Same thing different taste

Catch!

By babybreath - 03/06/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 105

You deserved it 10 193

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 137

You deserved it 13 659

By Embarressed... - 04/08/2010 10:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 589

You deserved it 11 339

By Anonymous - 10/08/2014 18:12 - United Kingdom - Ilminster

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 309

You deserved it 10 043

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 11:57 - United States - Howell

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 827

You deserved it 2 653

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 12:09 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 493

You deserved it 15 058

Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 965

You deserved it 18 122

By PiZzA_FaCe - 29/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 337

You deserved it 5 279

Early learner

By Michele - 18/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 605

You deserved it 4 057

Run Away

By dman92 - 09/04/2017 14:24

Today, while babysitting, the power went off. My little cousin pointed into the dark kitchen behind me and asked, "Who's that man standing there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 770

You deserved it 389

fb_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:23

Wow, who would even think of something like that with your 5-year-old relative, let alone say it out loud? That's right, FYL.

Melody_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:21

#5 she had just gotten there. dont parents normally wait till the baby sitter is there BEFORE they leave?

Comments

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 21 October 2011 12:34

If you were a guy, people would say you were a pedophile. Well, what the heck? Pedo alert!!!

Emperorerror 8

Saturday 29 October 2011 3:40

FYL if your cousin wasn't able to understand it was sarcastic.

jdawg2010 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 16:00

Eww...thats so gross. Pedophile.

lynnlynn95 1

Sunday 11 December 2011 1:36

Your weird

Courtney_Sanders 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 13:38

What the hell is wrong with you? Even if it was just a joke, that is NOT something to say to a child.

HateLife66 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 3:26

If it's a guy, then why is the gender sign female????

challenger15 4

Friday 30 March 2012 7:46

Why the hell would you say that to a five year old child

gohogs518 4

Wednesday 9 May 2012 10:44

I think it's hilarious because it is so crude. That's the best kind of humor. Not the bullshit scripted stuff on sitcoms. British and Australian comedy and humor are way funnier to me. Summer Heights High is amazing!