Love and Weird: You what?

You what?

By whattheheck - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 616

You deserved it 3 566

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By btg - 06/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 273

You deserved it 3 567

Safe space

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 847

You deserved it 3 146

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 292

You deserved it 6 418

By Blah - 02/08/2018 05:00

Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 549

You deserved it 268

By UHM - 06/10/2013 21:54 - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 275

You deserved it 4 018

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 21:29 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 927

You deserved it 3 565

By B'Dawk - 14/10/2018 13:30

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 696

You deserved it 1 694

Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)

By JGarz - 10/10/2015 07:21 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 304

You deserved it 2 729

By poopydaddy - 03/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 869

You deserved it 5 659

Psycho

By dating a psycho - 03/02/2022 08:00

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 118

MykalaMonae 7

Monday 4 June 2012 12:01

Dont you mean, EX Girlfriend?

Adrena_fml 5

Monday 4 June 2012 12:02

.... and you're jealous. It's ok to admit.

Comments

19riotgrrl83 0

Monday 4 June 2012 16:31

Run.

alfredo1177 0

Monday 4 June 2012 16:41

Guess you're one of her new dolls

Needafarm 22

Monday 4 June 2012 16:42

Oh my gosh, that's nuts. Was it one of those dolls that are like real life babies? Did it breath and does she change its diaper too?

silentblack 0

Monday 4 June 2012 16:53

"Ummm, can I get a titty too"

ifluffy33 0

Monday 4 June 2012 16:57

That's .... Disturbing.

BaitnSwitch 0

Monday 4 June 2012 17:00

kinky.

Raylosophy 10

Monday 4 June 2012 17:04

WTF? She's old enough to have breasts but young enough to play with dolls....how old is this chic and y didn't u run as soon as u saw her doing that?

darkcosinus 16

Monday 4 June 2012 17:06

Proof please :)

luna2495 0

Monday 4 June 2012 17:27

OMG NO WAY FYL UR LIFE REALLY SUCKS

BunnyRose 11

Monday 4 June 2012 17:27

Get out while you can!

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Am I overreacting? Love Social Media AITA Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Sleep Cute Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 648

You deserved it 8 222

Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 549

You deserved it 618

The Top

Today, while having sex, I tried to kick the blanket over my feet and kneed myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 917

You deserved it 26 310

Today, a friend admitted that the reason I got the nickname Axl is because I was an A cup with XL underwear. I guess I should be called Axxl now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 460

You deserved it 1 638

Today, nothing changed. Today was the same, and I feel like I'm in a dark comedy version of the movie Groundhog Day meets The Truman Show. I hate dark comedies. I want my life to be canceled… I mean, this movie to be canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 228

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 562

You deserved it 6 098

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 882

You deserved it 4 656

Today, two teen girls got into a shouting match at the table next to mine at the food court. Sensing a fight brewing, I got up to leave. I stood up just in time for one of the girls to throw her tray, which missed her target and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 066

You deserved it 1 615