Kids, Argument, Public freakouts and Health: Suburbia

Suburbia

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 14:05 - United Kingdom

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 861

You deserved it 3 023

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/01/2012 23:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 103

You deserved it 2 260

By fineillpissthebedthen - 07/02/2013 22:56 - Denmark - ?lborg

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 127

You deserved it 2 522

Great parenting, Patricia

By HeMayHaveSomeIssues - 28/02/2014 20:01 - Denmark

Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially, "Kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 412

You deserved it 3 672

Nice neighborhood you've got here

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 853

You deserved it 4 095

By Anonymous - 11/07/2011 07:42 - Australia

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 593

You deserved it 3 285

By Doggy... - 10/11/2011 05:56 - Australia

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 730

You deserved it 9 904

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:51 - Australia

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 306

You deserved it 3 092

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 17:54 - Canada - Tatamagouche

Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 944

You deserved it 7 032

By neighbour hell - 25/04/2013 17:56 - Norway - Kristiansand

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 081

You deserved it 2 709

Neighbours from hell

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Oakville

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 462

You deserved it 2 081

Lauren10102 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:57

So, what are you waiting for! Go join them!!!

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:07

or, you know, you just happen to be denser than a brick of osmium and your brain lacks the ability to properly process words longer than two letters in length.

Comments

Lauren10102 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:57

So, what are you waiting for! Go join them!!!

MrFlintstone 5

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:03

op open your window and yell y'all dang children done woke up the whole neighborhood gosh darn it!!!!!

ILOLatmockdaweek 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:04

cos that won't sound weird especially since op is from the uk

Trupe 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:05

I love how OP said "rudimentary knob" lol

dolphincheddar 10

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:14

jolly good chap, I would be quite entertained by this rudimentary activity, I shall join you and your blokes shortly after my daily earl gray tea and raisin biscuits

imthatguythatdid 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:29

only part of this FML that stood out was "**** FLAPS" and then I laughed my ass off

trickster873 5

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:49

At 14 what does your avatars interestingly placed caption? :P and man that sucks OP i'd get out ASAP

freshV43 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 20:02

What are u waiting for the dicks won't spray paint themselves!!

gurpreet 5

Tuesday 26 July 2011 20:23

lol, yeah you know what they say if you can't beat em' join em' !

juicedboi 7

Tuesday 26 July 2011 20:28

I don't care how you approach the situation as long as before you're done, you say "guvnah". But if you need advice on what to do, I suggest screaming out "you're both rudimentary knobs!" and proceeding to close your window and go back to sleep.

TheRealPeter 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 22:33

I would of joined, maybe call one of the moms a **** FLAP. But that's just me.

scrapmetal58 9

Wednesday 27 July 2011 3:53

34 - just so's ya knows a biscuit is the same as a cookie. A raisin scone is what you would have with a cup of tea. Scones are damned good too. Crumpets are amazing. Now I'm hungry. Bloody hell.

prince122 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 5:33

66- they do in Russia.

mfmylifesrsly 29

Wednesday 27 July 2011 7:47

96 - kids don't just have this problem...I sometimes draw them too :/

MrFlintstone 5

Wednesday 27 July 2011 8:19

18 that's the point 61 it's says there is a dog driving the car

RastaMan9 8

Wednesday 27 July 2011 9:15

ha ha, this was on a RWJ video KEEP ON TROLLING :)

Philliesfan9391 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:57

So, what's the problem?

savanh_fml 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:26

exactly what is the problem

Crash_1524 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:57

I don't get it.

goshpeople 4

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:13

Don't feel too bad. It took me a moment to realize that "knob" means "penis" in this FML. The OP is from the United Kingdom.

schaflava 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:23

Brits, being the inbred people they typically are, have tiny dicks and stretched vaginas. or no?

bellakaykid 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:37

Don't worry, I didn't either.

lilwaynerockz_fml 12

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:57

Comment moderated.

sourgirl101 28

Tuesday 26 July 2011 20:03

Great! now I feel like a perv because I knew right away what a rudimentary knob was!(:

goshpeople 4

Tuesday 26 July 2011 22:53

I think it was the close vicinity of the words "knob" and "door" that momentarily confused my brain.

jackien1 6

Wednesday 27 July 2011 0:56

oh wow. I didn't realize that. I thought op meant a real door knob. man I'm silly.

SGT_DBL 15

Wednesday 27 July 2011 6:47

Knob I get. I'm trying to figure out what kind of insult a "**** flap" is supposed to be. That seems to me to be along the same lines as calling someone an ass cheek or the patch of grass some dog crap landed on. Its not a good thing for sure, but I wouldn't rate it as being the most logical of insults.

Vegangeekgirl 2

Wednesday 27 July 2011 18:37

Thanks! Now it finally makes sense, I was so confused before about why there was a knob involved.

ImaCanuck 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:57

well, I guess you need to get a hobby.

rainbowfailure 2

Wednesday 27 July 2011 3:19

how is this an f YOUR life? this is funny.

HelloNoora1 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 6:46

Somebody watches raywilliamjohnson

Nashiq 8

Thursday 28 July 2011 17:41

Haha, I agree.

rayrayray23 1

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:57

that's harsh dude:/

kaylarosevear_ 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:58

I don't quite see how your life is ****** from this..

chimcharx3 15

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:58

trololololol

Black_Letter 19

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:09

Scoff

okiidokii_fml 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:58

the point is she has no reason to get up in the morning because she a depressed loser

daysgoby902 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:45

well that's a little rude

allenye818 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 20:38

judgmental much?

PunkkRockk 7

Wednesday 27 July 2011 8:04

You're sad and alone, aren't you?

Hockeyboy4280 18

Wednesday 27 July 2011 9:06

8- Maybe she has nothing going on today. Maybe she's feeling lazy. You're insinuating that she's a "Depressed loser" for not getting out of bed? Jesus, during weekends and schoolbreaks, the only reason I get out of bed is to go to sports. Does this mean I'm a "depressed loser"?