This is officially the best comment I've ever seen.

woah. you don't wanna give your coach third degree burns.

That would be hilarious

I bet you got kicked out a lot...

Could someone please explain this comment to me? The grammar construction of it makes it confusing for me.

This comment is ... perfect.

30- He's basically implying that the coach suffers from premature ejaculation. lol

37 - Ok, still don't get it. Could someone please explain the FML to me like I'm a 5 year old, to put it into context.

OP took a really long time to finish the race. The coach made fun of OP for it, stating that they almost took a year. Cue commentor saying that if the coach wanted a fast finish, the coach should have sex with his wife, implying that he doesn't last long in bed, and we all know that is the epitome of cumbacks.

My god #39! You're talking about cumbacks to a 5 year old! What's wrong with you!

Yea, I'm Scumback Steve.

Once in a while you see that legendary comment... this is one of those whiles.

Thanks 39. As for 51, I had read it just after I woke up, so my brain wasn't fully switched on :)

Sir, I tip my bonnet to you. Well done

Kudos, #1. Very clever lol

Okay, you win at FML comments. Everybody else go home.

like he actually has a wife.

If it takes you this much time to understand a fml, maybe shouldn't even be here.

Don't sweat it OP. You're not a track star and gym class is a joke! Cheer up :)

Slowly begins clapping. Other people join in. There is suddenly a huge roar of applause. The entire crowd goes wild! People chant your name! #1! #1! #1!

No offense..but proud to walk a mile? If you can't do a fuxking mile go see your doctor, it's not a damn marathon

Trust me, there are plenty of lazy, idiot teenage girls that don't know how to run.

There are also those of us that have asthma and already blew our knee out at sixteen due to our joints being out of place. Just because we can't run a mile doesn't mean we're lazy. I bike to and from work every day, I just can't run or jog because it's high impact on my already ****** knees/joints.

#67, my school made exemptions in cases like yours. They were actually really cool about it. I ran my mile for the President's fitness award (or whatever that was called) in 8:58, but it was a total struggle and I haven't been able to achieve a time like that again. I'm just not a runner.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news and all... But "the 1600", as OP said they completed, wouldn't even be a mile. A mile is 1760 yards.

...but 1600 meters is a mile.

Shit man he was off by a full 9 meters, shame on you OP.

Maybe he was joking. I've had gym teachers like that who will take any opportunity to make something funny. A few years ago my gym teacher talked carp about the soccer team every chance he had... he was the coach.

Even if he WAS joking, it hurt OP's feelings. My brother' gym teacher basically called him gay and tried to make it up with a snickers.

3 and 33, thank you for showing everyone what's wrong with this world. Everyone now a days is just too damn sensitive and can't take a joke. Grow up please.

33- Still, school just recently started and now the gym teacher knows what OP isn't ok with.

Blah, people who scream for help at every sleight, real or imagined. He probably didn't mean any wrong by his comment, and you're probably more motivated for fitness already! ;)

he talked with a fish?? no wonder your team sucks lol...

Lol, you know what I meant.

People who are this sensitive are the reason some places can't say Merry Christmas publicly. Grow the **** up, if you suck at running or athletics in general either accept it or use this to improve. I used to be really sensitive and shy, but I learned to accept my flaws and embrace my strengths. I know this wasn't even mentioned, but I've seen it a lot. Self pitying people who dwell on shit like this are downers, and you'll make a lot more friends(even if you have a lot to begin with) if you take everything in stride. No one take this the wrong way, it takes time to come out of your shell, but the sooner you get on it the happier you will be.

@ 33...well thats because everybody feels better after a snickers.

... How was your childhood?

A few cards short of a deck? A few inches short of a foot? A few clowns short of a circus? A few doughnuts short of being a cop? A couplet short of a sonnet? A few shrimps short of a barbie?

@86, we always used to say "A few fries short of a Happy Meal". XD

One time my coach wouldn't even let me finish because I was walking.... Gym was my lowest grade that quarter lol. And don't sweat it, OP, haters gunna hate.

#48 It's hard not to sweat in gym class. What's that? You want me to go jump off a bridge because of that joke? Okey dokey.

48 - Are you really to lazy to even attempt jogging? I think your gym teacher did the right thing by not letting you finish

Yup, gym coaches suck. They always picked on me because I could do sports properly (through no fault of my own). Always got my GPA down. Just ignore the coach, he's clearly an abnoxious twat. You go at your own pace OP, at least you finished the race!!

I should probably bring you along when the zombie apocalypse hits. I need distractions and bait.

You really are screwed if the zombies attack...

Unless she's the zombie, then the people left over would be pretty safe.