True that. There's only so much my right hand can do.

Noob.

Yup

You should've sighed and said "If only you were half the size of a **** star".

People really need to stop wanting **** stars in a relationship! Why would someone want their other half to nearly scream the house down from touching their arm? **** is over exaggerated! Also, no one else realised that the duck face is incredibly popular in ****? Just me?

Come to think of it... The first scene where girl is analyzed by the guy always have her making duck faces But who's interested there.

**** is stupid. It's all so badly faked I don't see how anyone finds it fun to watch. It's just like watching a film with very poor acting, it's painful to watch.

75 if you are watching **** for the acting, you're gonna have a bad time!

**** is for the voyeur in all of us. Everyone who watches **** likes it for one reason: watching two (or more) people go at it like animals, because they wish they were having the same kind of experiences. Who cares that it's fake, wrestling is fake as hell and people still watch that retarded garbage.

Basically OPs boyfriend wants fake orgasms and fake boobs. 'Kay.

haha I am the OP and unfortunately that doesn't apply to him = I wish though, that would have been perfect.

I love your profile pic, OP.

@155 yeah op but without the fml author border and 0 confirmed fml's

No, it just means he's seen **** (like every other guy).

News flash to all men, **** isn't how real people have sex.

Are you saying pornstars aren't real people?

#31: Somehow I don't believe that pornstars are simply letting others film them while they are enjoying themselves...

**** = about as real as that guy called Jack you saw on the TV the other night, shooting bullets at mafia bosses all while jumping out of a moving car in slow motion with huge-ass explosions cascading from the randomly placed gas tank behind him. All acted.

It probably just means that he wants more oral. Every other scene in **** is the girl with a **** in her mouth just waiting to get squirted in the face. Somehow, many guys seem to think that's what we want.

It means HE needs to watch less **** and get real, not that SHE needs to watch more. Ugh, your bf sounds like a creep, OP. :(

My unexperienced ex was shocked that I didn't want it all over my face. He actually believed most women enjoy it -.-

REDTUBE FTW!!!

ive met some girls who would disagree.

I'm sure glad that some of the women that I've had sex with were never told that kernel of wisdom. :)

Some do like some of the stuff done in ****, some don't. Do what you feel comfortable with, and if he don't like it, he can go and try to find someone that does.

Yes that probably means he needs to watch less **** because now he is comparing you to edited air brushed girls that you can never measure up to. Talk to him about it, but in the mean time watch a little ****, you can actually learn a lot.

No don't do it OP. if you do he will accuse you of cheating on him and you'll be writing an FML about that.

At least you enjoyed it FK him that's all he's getting right? :)

You can't just lay there comatose while you get off and expect guys to be ok with it. Don't be selfish, make it worth his time to. Remember, no one likes having sex with a dead cold fish (unless you ARE into that).

I totally agree with you, my ex was like that...

I am OP, Never had any complaints before, nothing but stunned compliments. You know you do good when Captain Swag can only manage "Why are you so good at this?"

So let me analyze your ever so brilliant 15 year old logic... Because SHE performs poorly in bed, her boyfriend, who, as stated in the FML, provided an amazing session of sex, needs dumped? You, are truly a human relations mastermind...

ya she needs to get better to make it fun watch **** together

Jeez, it's just something she could say to snap back at him. Doesn't mean she has to do it.

Doesn't mean he wont take it literally and leave her...

If SHE leaves him, what'll she be left with? Most likely just another guy telling her she's shit in the sack. Oh, and to watch some ****.

Or maybe, if she leaves him, she might find someone who actually loves her and takes care not to hurt her? I mean, what are the chances? 1,000,000 to one, considering the number of people in this world?

I'm with you, 4. Any man who expects a **** star for a girlfriend doesn't deserve one at all. Just because it's not what he wants doesn't mean OP's not good at it.

You have no idea she's bad in bed. He could be a selfish pig just the same. It is definitely not all her fault if any of it is.

But he deserves to be satisfied too. Obviously she got something out of it and he didn't, so there should be equality or what's in it for him?

81, when did it become selfish for him to want to be satisfied sexually too? I bet you're the kind of ball-buster that expects your man to perform for you, whether he gets anything out of it or not. Isn't that selfish of her to not at least take his satisfaction into consideration. Yeah, he worded it poorly, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a valid point.

I'm not stating that at all. **** is not the solution to intimacy. Exploring each others likes and dislikes together is more healthy in my opinion. I know I would be offended to have my boyfriend compare me to ****. I'm not alone in that either. I understand needs fully. Everyone has them. That said, I would never approach finding a solution like that.

Who the hell is talking about intimacy? He is talking about sexual pleasure. There is a difference...

^ thank you. The boyfriend in OP's post isn't talking about intimacy, he wants more excitement in the bedroom.

Though there is a difference the two are actually closely linked. While sex can simply just be sex it is typically much more satisfying when paired with a sense of intimacy and affection. Yes sex can be rough, or calm, or whatever but mental/spiritual intimacy can really make all the difference.

YES

Well which is it?

"I'm Squidward. I'm Squidward. I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward."

^ I'm no doctor but if I had to prescribe something for you it'd be 3-4 spoonfuls of suicide daily.

64- What a wonderful thing to post during suicide prevention week.

"He asked for a medium, AND I GAVE HIM A LARGE!"

Wasn't that the April Fools episode, 79?

64, that was so not needed

Maybe he wants a little anal play. OP should try shoving a vibrator up his ass next time they're going at it!

^agreed

**** is ruining relationships. Sex isn't like that in real life but guys seem to think that it should be and that their partners should be up for doing whatever they see in it. It's not healthy for a relationship.

I really don't think **** is unhealthy for a relationship I think men should have the freedom to watch **** as well as men. They can also watch together to get idea's. Some men want to do most of the work and sometimes some women want to do more work during sex. You just have to talk about it. Maybe he just wants OP to be more physically involved.

And when I said that last week I got down rated. Lol. But you are absolutely right

I agree, **** is bad for relationships. If you're a single guy watch it all you want, as long as you're aware it's nothing but a fantasy. I wonder how many millions of relationships have ended primarily because of ****?

**** is bad for relationships ONLY if you got some asshole for a boyfriend/fiancé/husband that wants to try stuff you don't, and doesn't get you don't want to try. Others, they like it, and gives them different ideas in the bedroom. **** is only as bad (or as good) as you want to make it

Correction, girls don't watch Enough.

Why should girls watch ****? It doesn't do anything for me, so why would I watch it?

I'm a girl and I watch **** sometimes. It does give you new ideas for positions, etc.

12 - some* Not all guys are Addicted to **** like you say they are.

Kama* Sutra. But yeah that is actually a legit win win :)