By thanks, fuckface - 16/11/2012 19:42 - United States - Parachute

Spicy
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 182
You deserved it 4 169
November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

annalily5 28

Normally I'd be offended that a Lord of the Rings reference would turn you off, but no matter how awesome he is, Gollum and sex are thoughts that should never be mixed. Ever.

298 7

Comments

AwkwardPartyBear 24

Take it as a compliment OP. You're mother ******* precious.

77 7
xXHollowIchigoXx 17

Yeah, sounds awesome.

1 0
ImaSnowman 2

That sh** is funny as ****, i just died xD

10 10
sens3sfailing 24

But you're a snowman! Snowmen can't die! They melt! Unless you're frosty, then you should give back the mans damn hat you thief!

2 20
mydadpulledout 17

#83, why did you edit "shit", but not "****"?

55 3
FurryPride 9

If you can't hand LOTR references don't go in my room.

7 1
ArielTheMermaid 17

I would have fallen off the bed laughing xD that's hilarious!

2 0
NandraniDevi 3

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
9 91
AwkwardPartyBear 24

Did you know that there is this pretty epic button for your comment? *sarcasm*

12 38
SandiRainbowFish 20

#2 I'm guessing that's why they posted it on "**** My Life."

43 3
sugarshane007 20

Well imagine that! On a site about people's messed up lives? Who would ever expect someone to have something sucky happen to the on here? I am certainly shocked. Thank you for the riveting commentary!

24 4
SirEskimo 13

I think we need at least two more comments informing 2 on her mistake, she definitely didn't get it the first time guys.

36 5
KiddNYC1O 20

24- Funnily enough, there's a button for yours too...

23 5
JoeRogansBEARD 15

2 YOUR COMMENT IS BAD, AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD

30 7
cameraman97 4

Ew that is overused. And awkward to read.

1 24
AwkwardPartyBear 24

Yes there is a button. There's a button for everything isn't there -_-.

4 3
iSpasticFantasti 14

I think you reacted appropriately haha, no dump him comment but honestly, what was he thinking?

14 82
happyllama12 5

Did anyone else not get what she just said? ^

66 5
wolfhausen 7

She said something along the lines of: I feel your reaction was appropriate. I am not going to make a dump him comment, but I must say what was he thinking? ;)

57 1
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

Things make so much more sense when worded properly

28 0
connerwonner 7

We need Doc Bastard's translator again

18 4
iSpasticFantasti 14

Maybe it would have made more sense if I'd said: no "dump him" comment or not saying dump him

4 40
TheWindowLicker 13

86, I think you need to lighten up. I feel every time I see you comment it is rude or condescending. With that said, the original comment did take me a minute to decipher.

9 1
verkaderk 9

#4/#73... Both your comments are just terribly worded... Take an English class and than come back when you've learnt a thing or two

2 2
decidedlyvague 11

I GET IT!!! She's saying that she's not telling her to dump him, but what he did is very strange. I feel like I just bested a sphinx.

4 1
ittybitttyme 8

I'm not a grammar nazi, but would you please use some punctuation so I can At least understand what the junk you just said?!?

0 3
TurquoiseJesus 15

Don't worry, OP. I came buckets in your place just reading that line.

189 8
hama806 19

Too funny...but I hope OP got her groove back on.

4 11
annalily5 28

Normally I'd be offended that a Lord of the Rings reference would turn you off, but no matter how awesome he is, Gollum and sex are thoughts that should never be mixed. Ever.

298 7
Inheritance 10

Tree Beard and all his treants are much offended. No, to soon? You may unleash the wrath of Mordor on me. Happened again, oh well. Thumb me down as you choose. I got help from the elves.

13 34
trippythehippy 6

I think he took role play to a entirely new level. And a new level of fail.... Hope you bought batteries

115 5
Welshite 39

That's when you whisper back: "He wants the precious. Always he is looking for it. And the precious is wanting to go back to him... But we mustn't let him have it"

146 4
MsMourningStar 22

This comment alone almost made me cum. Much appreciation.

5 27
hpbrocster7 3

You sit around reading FMLs and masturbating. That's normal.

19 0