Intimacy: Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered,...

By thanks, fuckface - 16/11/2012 19:42 - United States - Parachute

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 182

You deserved it 4 169

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Same thing different taste

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 001

You deserved it 4 243

Not now, Yoda

By iwassoclose - 10/04/2013 16:32 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 771

You deserved it 8 807

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 496

You deserved it 5 019

By single - 10/11/2010 02:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 440

You deserved it 7 623

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 315

You deserved it 5 175

Good question

By Juliett - 29/08/2019 19:00 - United States - Wisconsin Rapids

Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 309

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 307

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 837

You deserved it 8 747

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 306

You deserved it 2 763

By Jane - 24/11/2011 13:57 - Australia

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 858

You deserved it 6 236

IntoTheClouds 42

Saturday 17 November 2012 2:37

That's ******* awesome haha

annalily5 28

Saturday 17 November 2012 2:40

Normally I'd be offended that a Lord of the Rings reference would turn you off, but no matter how awesome he is, Gollum and sex are thoughts that should never be mixed. Ever.

Comments

aJaguarinRed 9

Saturday 17 November 2012 8:28

One does not merely make Gollum references in bed...

laden_swallow09 34

Saturday 17 November 2012 10:30

I think you mean, "One does not simply…" I thumbed you up, anyway. :)

whyseeatall 4

Saturday 17 November 2012 10:24

Hilarious... Because that didn't happen to me. I think I'd break up with him only because I'd never be able to get that out of my mind while having sex.

Amajean 7

Saturday 17 November 2012 10:33

My ex did something similar to me. Except it was with the Joker's "Why so serious? "

happylawyer 16

Saturday 17 November 2012 13:35

And now he is the EX. See guys? Don't try it at home.

NagainaFier 16

Saturday 17 November 2012 15:35

But it's the mother ******' Joker! Come on, you can't go wrong with him!

Sir_Swaggington 6

Saturday 17 November 2012 11:58

What's with guys (not all guys) thinking girls are turned on by Lord of the Rings and Star Wars references? We're not! Outside of sex, it may be funny depending on the girl, but during sex it's just weird, creepy, and gross.