Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints...

By EconM - 03/10/2013 15:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 247

You deserved it 5 357

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Fetishes come in all sizes

By unboned - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 603

You deserved it 2 833

By sirengamer - 14/06/2017 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 980

You deserved it 312

Money first

By Anonymus - 31/01/2020 20:00 - Canada - Warkworth

Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 328

By NoRingForMe - 18/07/2012 17:03 - United States - Stamford

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 887

You deserved it 14 064

Classy guy

By NewlyDread - 06/02/2013 02:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 441

You deserved it 7 439

Foldin' money

By E_Sauce - 24/03/2019 12:00

Today, I went to the bank to get a jar of coins exchanged for cash via a fancy counter machine. After 30 minutes I was handed a bag of rolling sleeves and was told to do it myself. Good news, I have a lot more money than I thought. Bad news, I have A LOT more coins than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 382

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 059

You deserved it 893

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

By Anonymous - 02/09/2016 14:50 - United Kingdom - Shepton Mallet

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 692

You deserved it 1 974

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 225

You deserved it 9 906

ThatGuyWhoTalks 10

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:04

He gets turned on by money, now you know what to use to get him to have sex with you. Oh wait that's prostitution

niftyismybitch 21

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:05

maybe its just a roll of coins...

Comments

ThatGuyWhoTalks 10

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:04

He gets turned on by money, now you know what to use to get him to have sex with you. Oh wait that's prostitution

\ 28

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:08

He has developed paraphilia...

Kamon97 23

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:28

No wonder they call it cold hard cash...

zandalee 19

Thursday 3 October 2013 23:16

No actually I think in this case it's a lovely hard, warm wad! ;-)))

clever_name_here 7

Monday 7 October 2013 1:31

Or dress up in a coin costume

Jandrarlon 2

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:04

A penny saved is a penny earned?

RoboCunnilingus 23

Thursday 3 October 2013 20:04

Good advice, thank you. I'll be sure to use that next time it's completely irrelevant to the topic at hand.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Friday 4 October 2013 1:50

Well if we're saying completely irrelevant phrases, I have to quote Bob Marley with this one.. "Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean."

Gingerette 8

Friday 4 October 2013 5:30

I think if we twist the context of thus fml by one or two degrees, that Bob Marley quote could be very relevant.

_Princess_Peach_ 9

Friday 4 October 2013 11:42

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but more than two and its hard to poo

tanekdrachonae 19

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:05

He gets hard for the money, yeah so hard for it honey.

Rainhawk94 27

Thursday 3 October 2013 23:18

lol I imagine Dr Seuss writing this

tanekdrachonae 19

Thursday 3 October 2013 23:41

57- I think of Donna Summer singing it.

Welshite 39

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:05

You can't blame him, really. Being that close to soo much money...*ahem*...I need a moment.

ladypunk 8

Thursday 3 October 2013 20:56

I think OP is dating Mr. Krabs.

NoMore_CoolNames 14

Thursday 3 October 2013 22:45

The no **** wasn't needed

Rainhawk94 27

Thursday 3 October 2013 23:20

anything that comes after no **** is most likely very ****

niftyismybitch 21

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:05

maybe its just a roll of coins...

B_CeouL 12

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:09

This comment made my day :)

awkwardloveannie 28

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:05

he really enjoys money

DJisHere11 19

Friday 4 October 2013 6:32

#6 Idk, how'd you come to that conclusion?

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:06

"Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" "It's a roll of quarters. But now that you mention it, these quarters are getting me hard."