By damn - 09/04/2014 21:12 - United States - Kenton

Spicy
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 481
You deserved it 8 031
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Top comments

EndOfSekrets 13

Talk shit, get laid.

283 4

Comments

J215B 33

Was there really any competition? I mean that guy has a great digestive system!!!

74 2
oddities 20

Not screwing a girl who finds "really healthy *****" attractive. Or maybe OP is into that kind of stuff.

35 2
incoherentrmblr 21

Perhaps said girl is a nutritionist.

40 1
Vlen_fml 20

my thoughts exactly, dating people in the medical field is bound to bring out weird quirks and fetishes.

5 11
PIGaming 21

#51, are you saying that if someone works in a morgue they are likely to have a necrophilia fetish?

5 0
ZombieRaptor 5

That's one of the weirder things I've seen today.

160 3
wastedpenguin 14

thanks to the internet though not the wierdest

42 3
kmaeh 8

"I think it's time for the next step in our relationship. . want you to poop on me" o.O

4 0
EndOfSekrets 13

Talk shit, get laid.

283 4
whiteboy896 9

I think you're a very rude person and you probably have no friends too!!! My turn?

5 47
TiiBags 15

No wonder I don't have a girlfriend...

1 14
EndOfSekrets 13

It was a play on words. A joke. Relax.

27 2
thefastnfuryass 14

"Hey ladies.. I had TWO bowel movements yesterday. Pretty sexy, right? I know."

36 0
lbguitarist 7

this is generating so much false hope it's hilarious

12 0
icandothecancan 24

This not where I wanted this comment to be.

0 0
SammyS2012 21

wait... what is this FML about...? i honestly dont understand it.

59 21
jazzy_123 20

Yeah that first sentence is really throwing me off

39 4
zBLAKEz 23

It confused me too. I think he meant to say "that he has" instead of "that has."

16 3
SammyS2012 21

I guess so too because it was changed. O.o why would he add the last part though? is it really relevant? lol

2 19
Sirin_fml 46

Guy makes a creepy remark to the girl. OP wants to make fun of him for blowing his chance at sleeping with her by being so weird, but the girl sleeps with him anyway. "Even he can get a girl, but I can't." What's not to get?

0 0
zBLAKEz 23

The first sentence had poor grammar before it was corrected, so it was hard to understand.

6 10
Sirin_fml 46

It was only missing one word. Be fair: it's hard for the OP to type properly one-handed.

0 0
BoltTheSuperdog 22

#32 I really wish I could like your comment right now.

79 0
SammyS2012 21

oh! i kept reading it as "laid off", so i kept thinking she fired him. i see my mistake now

0 6
ced443_fml 9

"I have healthy bowels" "Omg I love healthy bowels. My place ;)" Kinda like that?

111 1
kurodansei 16

I'm not sure why but I laughed a little too hard at that potential exchange.

24 2
BoltTheSuperdog 22

Your digestive system (and its waste products) would be such a weird thing to talk about to a girlfriend. Definitely not my first topic of choice.

33 0
Ki11erC 18

Wasn't even a girlfriend so even weirder as an opener, unless she's into the whole 2girls1cup thing....

17 0
Senseless_487 29

Huh, I guess I've been doing it all wrong.

41 0