Love: Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when...

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 067

You deserved it 3 238

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Same thing different taste

By hannahlorraine - 25/11/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 224

You deserved it 2 809

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 401

You deserved it 37 703

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 158

You deserved it 2 765

Do I know you?

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 469

You deserved it 3 174

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 919

You deserved it 10 325

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 154

You deserved it 2 101

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 673

You deserved it 4 572

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 125

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 233

You deserved it 5 383

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 122

LezBiHonest 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:39

Theres always room for one more...

hashnasnne 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:40

god bless your mother

Comments

LezBiHonest 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:39

Theres always room for one more...

tellithowitis 13

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:42

Share the love!

beachbabe830 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:44

Not always

fthislyfe 22

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:55

Let's hope she's into his girlfriend

keepcaImcarryon 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 1:04

this is your mothers way of saying that she approves of your relationship :)

n_epic_fail 14

Saturday 10 December 2011 3:05

Momma needs love... Now drunken mamma's need to go lay in bed and preferably have a garbage can near by.

Llamacod 11

Saturday 10 December 2011 4:07

But, #27, hopefully not that into op's girlfriend. wink wink

shadystyle 6

Saturday 10 December 2011 4:58

she's initiating the threesome

peteyfas 8

Saturday 10 December 2011 5:30

Sharing is caring!

mschack24 1

Saturday 10 December 2011 6:06

Hahahahahahaha

Crystal55621 19

Saturday 10 December 2011 6:12

-80 is that your dog? CUTE!!!!

lilcatisawesome 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 6:43

Yep! You know it, dude!!

shazza26 1

Saturday 10 December 2011 7:16

77, shudder...

incomple 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 14:13

hashnasnne 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:40

god bless your mother

BeefyQueef 5

Saturday 10 December 2011 2:42

Too bad god doesn't exist

boofgall 16

Saturday 10 December 2011 2:43

Careful beefy, you'll upset the bible thumpers.

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Saturday 10 December 2011 4:49

Girls just wanna have funn :D

gregorrok1 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 6:01

I think OP should have said, "No!!!"

jwade11 12

Saturday 10 December 2011 7:37

Can you spell A-W-K-W-A-R-D!!!

TheDeadlyTurtle 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 8:33

"hmm AWDWARK...nope"

SkoomaKi 27

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:40

Awkwardness FTW!

cosmosis 12

Saturday 10 December 2011 1:46

Your comment FTL....

TheDeadlyTurtle 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 12:47

Awdwarkness....nope still can't spell it :/

WCARlover 34

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:41

She just wants some love...shouldve just moved over for her

milyfesux97 3

Saturday 10 December 2011 1:40

Unless she was naked. Then that would be messed up.

WCARlover 34

Saturday 10 December 2011 1:45

Well yeah...but if she was naked I imagine that part would've been included in the FML

TwitchingNebula 17

Saturday 10 December 2011 8:05

Keepin it in the family....ahhhh yeeah!

cutielilangel 8

Saturday 10 December 2011 11:21

Well then... At least she wasn't naked!! :)

chosha_fml 26

Sunday 11 December 2011 11:13

For a nasty drunk? Gross.

melissafleming 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:41

threesome ;)

WCARlover 34

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:44

That statement does not warrant a wimpy face

WCARlover 34

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:47

Winky* auto correct will be the death of me --_-

p8ntcheck 4

Saturday 10 December 2011 3:19

Yay for incest!

cosmosis 12

Saturday 10 December 2011 3:26

57- no, just no...

javierb88 3

Saturday 10 December 2011 5:53

Candy ass

MedKits 9

Monday 12 December 2011 12:56

57- you just gave paintballers a bad name

ninjuh_wingman 29

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:41

I think this would be better if it was someone else. The thought of it being your mom kind of weirded me out.

January8 5

Monday 12 December 2011 1:49

@6: thus it being on FML. Because it is something that would weird someone out. If it were someone else it'd be scrawled on some sticky piece of paper, on it's way to Hustler.