Gross and Love: Language of love

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 387

You deserved it 3 951

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Hot and humid

By drooler - 06/08/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 315

You deserved it 40 791

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 040

By girlllll - 01/06/2010 12:31 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 328

You deserved it 5 803

By goo - 10/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 667

You deserved it 1 129

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 860

You deserved it 8 372

My love language is…

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 320

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 316

You deserved it 5 073

Seduction technique

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 789

You deserved it 6 805

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 682

You deserved it 4 563

By anonymous - 05/09/2014 16:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 000

You deserved it 3 895

tukker 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:26

I saw this going a different direction when i was reading it...

vampirate 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:27

ULTIMATE. WET WILLIE.

Comments

saraa_c 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:17

that's gross ...

wiserman 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 3:57

better drool than spooge. just saying.

FarSide 22

Tuesday 24 November 2009 4:08

YDI for having a loose ear canal.

Ootori 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 5:17

hahahahahahahahaha

hornetchik 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:20

Lol thats a bit gross, but I dribble in my sleep as well!

Starchild21 3

Tuesday 24 November 2009 3:41

Do you slobber all over your boyfriend's ear too? ____________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

CherryCupcakes 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:20

That's kinda ew.

_Noon_ 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 11:59

It kinda is.

renizzle 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:21

LMAO sorry thats hilerious!

DoomJeff91 2

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:21

I have a mule and her name is Sal, 15 miles on the ear canal!

Starchild21 3

Tuesday 24 November 2009 6:57

Cat I'm a kitty cat and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance. Cat I'm a kitty cat and I meow meow meow and I meow meow meow ___________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

tukker 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:26

I saw this going a different direction when i was reading it...

atomicmrpelly 2

Tuesday 24 November 2009 2:53

I knoooow! Bathos!

jwallukwizard2 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 3:31

same here

vampirate 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:27

ULTIMATE. WET WILLIE.

Mmbop 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:30

...WHAT was he dreaming about?

jonny2x4 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:39

Was he dreaming about bacon? Bacon is the solution to most of life's problems, you know.

Plumppotato 3

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:50

sucks for jews. hahaha i make pork joke. but in all seriousness, poor jews. and other religions that adhere to specific diets. and vegetarians. not because they cant have bacon, but because i feel sorry for them in general.