Neighbours, Farts and Miscellaneous: Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't... - FML

By silent one - 12/09/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 275

You deserved it 3 028

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 21/01/2011 03:55

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 3 646

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 36 005

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 845

You deserved it 6 933

By monochrometea - 09/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 890

You deserved it 2 371

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 302

Mambo Number 5

By Anonymous - 12/07/2022 18:00

Today, having been on hold on the phone for several minutes, I felt the need to release a fart. Just as I started my release, they picked up. They definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 19/03/2015 15:56 - United States - West Babylon

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 2 913

Gas wars

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 15:59 - United States

Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 94

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 428

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 3 632

Next

Top comments

Naitras 15

Monday 12 September 2011 12:09

Why bother? It's apparent they don't care about it

tsume24 3

Monday 12 September 2011 12:10

if I were you I'd be trying to make mine louder than theirs.

Comments

Naitras 15

Monday 12 September 2011 12:09

Why bother? It's apparent they don't care about it

EvilPotato 14

Monday 12 September 2011 12:22

Have really loud farts from now on.

krazy_glu3 0

Monday 12 September 2011 12:38

Thong = silencer. They make em for men and women. Try it out.

AnonymousTroll 2

Monday 12 September 2011 12:51

Here no evil, speak of no evil.

_Oblivion_ 12

Monday 12 September 2011 13:16

Try tuning your hearing aids down

FFPulley 9

Monday 12 September 2011 13:44

You must set the farts free! They should not be contained.

MaCOOLiT 5

Monday 12 September 2011 14:00

Never hold your farts in. It goes back up to your stomach then up to your brain. Thats where the shitty ideas come from. LOL

gojira666 7

Monday 12 September 2011 16:04

Be a man

sasha_kay 4

Monday 12 September 2011 16:05

Lol seriously!

opendoorclosed 8

Monday 12 September 2011 16:11

Buy a megaphone and fart through it in max volume.

abbyelizabeth 9

Monday 12 September 2011 16:21

39- I wish you didn't add LOL, it would have been much more amusing. :'(

PutItIn 8

Monday 12 September 2011 22:28

10-37 are now #losing

KushMastaDisasta 3

Monday 12 September 2011 23:20

73- This isn't twitter. you also lose.

tjv3 10

Tuesday 13 September 2011 2:20

yeah why bother it's your apartment and you can fart if you want to

The_Instigator 11

Monday 12 September 2011 12:10

Did it smell?

hockey199813 5

Monday 12 September 2011 13:26

Of course not

azpallen 0

Monday 12 September 2011 13:38

LOL!!!!

tsume24 3

Monday 12 September 2011 17:26

2 - if a bear ***** in a forest, and no one's around to smell it, are you still a moron?

TwitchingNebula 17

Monday 12 September 2011 20:14

^^ EPIC WIN

tsume24 3

Monday 12 September 2011 12:10

if I were you I'd be trying to make mine louder than theirs.

slipknotz 0

Monday 12 September 2011 13:02

To be honest I'd get a megaphone and let one rip lol ;)

iam_yummylicious 12

Monday 12 September 2011 16:40

If I were them I would move into a more soundproof apartment. If you can hear someone's farts...

tsume24 3

Monday 12 September 2011 17:18

61 - but where would the fun be in that? hell, I'd be competing with that neighbor like it was the penis game.

iam_yummylicious 12

Monday 12 September 2011 17:46

IDK. You would also hear them taking *****, having sex, masturbating, arguing, etc.

tsume24 3

Monday 12 September 2011 19:53

that's life for you.

whited666 0

Monday 12 September 2011 12:12

At least you don't smell them

DjeePee 24

Monday 12 September 2011 12:13

Maybe they would stop making terrible loud farts if they were aware you could hear them. Or maybe you should simply accept the fact that people fart, and stop stifling them.

rhysfucker 24

Monday 12 September 2011 14:53

Writes the girl in the gas mask. : )

DjeePee 24

Monday 12 September 2011 15:13

I'm always prepared for FML's like this.

jesernoob 13

Tuesday 13 September 2011 8:18

win!

rebekahah 7

Monday 12 September 2011 12:14

Lol OP's username "silent one"

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 12 September 2011 13:33

SBD

mea_iloveskiing 26

Monday 12 September 2011 12:15

Obviously they can hear anything, so farts aren't the biggest problem.

kkmwong 11

Monday 12 September 2011 14:09

Fap fap fap.

Cappiej 18

Monday 12 September 2011 12:21

You could have heared other things....

WallyTheWombat 0

Monday 12 September 2011 15:34

Lol heared

ImmaB3AST 7

Monday 12 September 2011 12:22

If I were you I'd turn it into a competition.

ruthchun92 2

Monday 12 September 2011 12:25

...did you read the fml?

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The Top

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You deserved it 7 312

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I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 705

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

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You deserved it 178

Today, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were on our way to the nearest frozen yogurt place. The second we got out of the car, I immediately complained about how hot and bright it was outside. I was so busy complaining, I didn’t hear my friend telling me to watch out for the curb. I landed face first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 1 448