By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 179
You deserved it 2 821
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

ClaireWinchester 17

If it was a robber they clearly aren't very smart

398 3
slooby_fml 25

"I will find you. And I will kill you."

341 6

Comments

deadchicken 3

Hey is your refrigerator running? Well you better go catch it ahahaha

3 6
TheCanucklehead 22

That's not funny. Never has been. Never will

2 1
slooby_fml 25

Well, humor is subjective. It's probably funny to a 9 year old who's hearing it for the first time

0 0
deadchicken 3

Temptation to get the first comment for the first time was so high my brain resorted to using a childish "joke". My bad xD

2 0
ClaireWinchester 17

If it was a robber they clearly aren't very smart

398 3
mFUNdo21 17

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
14 52
Nyx_fml 23

That sounds like a boring plot twist. I like the original story better.

84 3
Ambient25 24

Plot twist: OP called Dog. "Yes, this is dog"

124 4
Epikouros 31

Plot twist: it was OP's wife's lover, ******* his other girlfriend in their bed.

8 58
Ambient25 24

Plot Twist: ^ Refrain from further plot twists please.

90 3
Nyx_fml 23

Op already left us a nice cliffhanger.

40 1
tjv3 10

Hopefully you hung up and called the police

9 2
slooby_fml 25

"I will find you. And I will kill you."

341 6
AnOriginalName 19

"I don't know where you are...."

34 3
slooby_fml 25

Hahaha I didn't even think about that! I was just trying to quote Taken. Besides, the person in OP's house will probably be long gone by the time OP gets home

9 2
Ambient25 24

"I dunno who you are. I dunno what you want. If it's sugar it's in the pantry. Just know that if you eat my ice cream, I will find you, I will cut you, I will kill you" *Guy with mouthful of ice cream* "Good luck"

125 1
tracirs_ 7

This made me laugh way more than it probably should have. Oh sleep deprivation haha

18 6
IloveToLaugh143 21

"Do not touch my oreos. If you were smart, you'd be scared."

3 1
The_Big_Boss 20

Someone was nice enough to look after your house while you were gone is all

178 2
flashback.miss 28

get the police. better safe than sorry.

106 6
Maverick52 13

I'm unsure as how The Police could do anything about the situation other than sing "Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you"

6 21
Axipiter 24

45, this would have been way funnier if a) the previous post had said "The Police", rather than "the police", and 2) you hadn't basically quoted the whole ******* song.

19 2
bradleysol 11

Sounds like someone's cleaning your house for you. By cleaning, I mean cleaning it out. Sorry OP

95 2
JoeGrant 12

If only OP could explain a bit more as to what happened. I'm sure something else transpired! OP, call the police!

31 0
Kalipczo 21

Eh that's pretty not okay. I'd call the cops or a neighbor to check it out for you.

11 21