Health, Embarrassing and Poopoo peepee: Pissed

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 957

You deserved it 54 088

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Same thing different taste

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 645

You deserved it 26 667

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 942

You deserved it 61 823

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 944

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 975

You deserved it 37 009

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 14 969

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 419

You deserved it 3 605

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 521

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 649

You deserved it 46 028

By S4L - 02/07/2009 04:13 - France

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 817

You deserved it 23 379

evan_7899 28

Monday 13 January 2014 21:11

Fly:1 Idiot:0

luckysilverbell 5

Monday 13 January 2014 21:13

It's FMLs like this one that make me wish I had a penis.

Comments

evan_7899 28

Monday 13 January 2014 21:11

Fly:1 Idiot:0

BillMurray_fml 12

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:07

We've all been there.

Clay_Pidgeon 11

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:41

Can this guy remove the country identification? He is making us look bad.

PuggieKid 22

Tuesday 14 January 2014 23:44

'I thought it would be funny to...' Me: okay. YDI.

TheTacoMan 24

Thursday 29 May 2014 22:27

Dammit Sergeant! We Lost Em!

Zverina 20

Monday 13 January 2014 21:12

Nothing wrong with a little mobile target practice.

StiffPvtParts 43

Monday 13 January 2014 22:36

A similar thing happened to me once. I was talking a piss, and a fly flew into the stream of my urine. I felt really bad about it, so I saved it from drowning (._.)

parism143 28

Monday 13 January 2014 23:21

That sounds so gross. How did you save it? By fishing it out?

TheTacoMan 24

Wednesday 15 January 2014 21:14

If I was the guy who walked in, I would have joined him.

dachayke 16

Thursday 16 January 2014 5:08

#28 so, when's the next PETA meeting?

thexguyxnextdoor 10

Monday 13 January 2014 21:13

Dude I never do this, but you deserve it.

ohcheriecherie 20

Tuesday 14 January 2014 2:26

YDI for being a 4 year old

bellebe1998 16

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:01

Its good to have a little fun once in awhile.

kwyk 23

Wednesday 15 January 2014 4:54

emphasis on little... heh heh.

luckysilverbell 5

Monday 13 January 2014 21:13

It's FMLs like this one that make me wish I had a penis.

TheMathMajor 26

Monday 13 January 2014 21:21

It would be pretty fun to aim your pee at things.

OctoDope 15

Monday 13 January 2014 21:39

Indeed it is, Ive patented a few trick shots over the years like "the long shot", "through the legs", and "death from above", the final one you stand on any object higher than the throne and take aim.

GingerRoot 13

Monday 13 January 2014 22:24

It would be wild to spell my name in snow

reaxion 25

Monday 13 January 2014 22:52

You can borrow mine any time you like :-P

Watermelon777 3

Monday 13 January 2014 23:58

that was smooth as **** #38

Clay_Pidgeon 11

Tuesday 14 January 2014 6:52

did you just call yourself smooth as ****?

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Tuesday 14 January 2014 10:17

Hmmm. So girls want a penis, and guys want breasts (just so they can touch them anytime for no reason at all)?

ReignInBlood 11

Tuesday 14 January 2014 13:22

This whole conversation fascinates me. I hate dicks and all, but it WOULD be interesting to aim my pee at stuff...

TheTacoMan 24

Wednesday 15 January 2014 21:17

#61 there is a reason, if you don't get the reason, then you may be a little to young for this site. (Hint: boobs are arousing to men and penises are arousing to women)

TheTacoMan 24

Wednesday 15 January 2014 21:19

Don't forget "Hell Fire"#15! It's when you piss on the roof and get the piss to drip into the toilet!

matoaka_fml 10

Monday 13 January 2014 21:13

Good job dumbass.

Acar13 5

Monday 13 January 2014 21:13

Did you at least clean up?

perdix 29

Monday 13 January 2014 21:15

Tell him to whip it out and start peeing at the fly, too!

OctoDope 15

Monday 13 January 2014 21:50

It would be unfair to the fly at that point, The fly should bring a pal and make it like a deathmatch... flies win if they can successfully land on and clog the urethra.

junkman6 22

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:20

Don't cross the streams!!!

OscarDV 8

Tuesday 14 January 2014 7:14

Hitting flying flys with your stream is like the Olympics. I'm sure they'll be trained enough to avoid each others. I, on the other hand, maybe literally, would probably pee all over myself with my aim =/