Miscellaneous: Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late,... - FML

By as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - 05/04/2014 22:04 - United Kingdom - Birkenhead

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 163

You deserved it 3 513

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 151

By nice one - 14/07/2013 17:51 - United States - Athens

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 796

You deserved it 2 744

Drunken antics

By DevilsTemptation - 29/08/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 162

By clewie - 31/08/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 133

Arrested

By shikushiku - 03/08/2016 03:12 - United States - Plano

Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 382

You deserved it 989

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 200

You deserved it 5 410

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 771

You deserved it 4 009

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 661

You deserved it 3 397

By poisongrl - 06/09/2011 22:53 - Macedonia

Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 957

You deserved it 2 439

The hangover, part 46

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 04:00

Today, it’s my birthday. I woke up with a raging hangover and my house being completely trashed from the party I didn’t really want, and can barely even remember, since I got so drunk from the nerves of having to host it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 995

Next

Top comments

PrincessCastiel 27

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:32

...Happy Birthday!!

Saywat145 17

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:35

I guess his party started a little earlier...

Comments

PrincessCastiel 27

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:32

...Happy Birthday!!

mwhpug 4

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:42

I hope OP made a wish.

STOspartan 12

Sunday 6 April 2014 4:32

A new garage door!

pjsr 32

Sunday 6 April 2014 4:34

I LOVE surprise parties!

KSIPanda2 6

Sunday 6 April 2014 5:02

did he at least say.... Surprise !!!!!!

Stazza11 27

Sunday 6 April 2014 17:32

knock knock?

Saywat145 17

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:35

I guess his party started a little earlier...

Krirn 21

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:35

Well there is more than one way to crash a party.

GriffinPeter 20

Sunday 6 April 2014 5:22

Ba dum tss

ea247 20

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:35

Oh that sucks OP i hope you dad at lest is willing to pay for the damages happy birthday btw

Poppy8127 15

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:37

This reminds me of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond when Frank drove his car into Ray's house

Poppy8127 15

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:45

I don't see why OP has YDI's. How does anyone deserve that?

Jessj958 19

Sunday 6 April 2014 3:56

Because some people are just assholes! I don't understand that either.

Mauskau 35

Sunday 6 April 2014 4:08

Sometimes I misclick or select one when scrolling.. perhaps that's where they come from as you can't unselect your vote.

keirissleepy 10

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:37

least a birthday you will never forget

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 6 April 2014 6:13

or hopefully someday laugh about. My dad hit the fire hydrant on our corner drunk, New Years Eve 1977. Snapped it off clean as a whistle. Unlike the movies, water did not go shooting straight up like a geyser. I was in the passenger seat and he asked me to say I was driving. Sort of a future FML. We laugh about it now, a lot. Good luck OP.

kamryno 22

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:37

There's no better present than having your dad drunkenly drive through your garage door!

warsun 27

Sunday 6 April 2014 9:52

Yes there is. Your grandfather doing that

91hayek 31

Sunday 6 April 2014 15:40

Like a stripper coming out of a cake, but instead with more horse power and family participation.

PJMLG 5

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:37

Sorry

warsun 27

Sunday 6 April 2014 9:53

You're not sorry are you?

RenbewDesh 9

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:38

You BETTER make him pay for that!

10showgirl 16

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:38

Your dad really knows how to make an entrance!

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work Mental health Awkward Relatable AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 3 275

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 431

You deserved it 21 173

The Top

Today, I woke up to the most excruciating pain in my jaw. No dentist that takes my insurance has any openings, and the one doctor I can see to get antibiotics isn’t in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 103

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 639

You deserved it 12 266

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 951

You deserved it 2 377

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 169

You deserved it 6 976

Today, I deleted a load of junk that was messing up my mother's computer. I don't know how I'm going to tell her I accidentally wiped out all of her wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 459

You deserved it 31 469

Today, as I struggle with dyscalculia, I set up some counters so I could knit up a perfect square. Turns out the counters actually made it worse. I have three failed attempts and I'm stuck on number 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 103