Love, Kids, Poopoo peepee, Relatable, Awkward and Dating: Stinker

Stinker

By taman - 12/09/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 949

You deserved it 5 363

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Same thing different taste

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 299

You deserved it 6 510

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 697

You deserved it 1 021

Tonight, on First Dates…

By dumper - 05/11/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 227

You deserved it 5 597

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 973

You deserved it 7 928

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 912

You deserved it 3 548

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 846

You deserved it 5 286

Industrial logs

By wow - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 535

You deserved it 36 950

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 079

You deserved it 6 690

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 870

Hoofin 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:13

And this is why little kids should not be allowed in public

vendris 5

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:23

Oh no, you did something completely natural, **** your life indeed.

Comments

machete_fml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:05

whatta I hope she didn't run away

machete_fml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 13:51

shit! i was FIRST and didnt say it I'm the man!

aero_fml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 14:09

Except you just did. And did so by commenting on your own comment. Thumbs down!

dyliumo 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 18:07

MM MM GOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Ox_Baker 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 20:51

Let's also vote thumbs down on his original comment.

bishoprsv2 0

Thursday 12 November 2009 2:47

YDI for pooping

teozac 0

Monday 14 June 2010 8:52

EAT DA POO POO! from an afrikan pastor in a funny clip

moonlight_daze 8

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:07

YDI for being a yuppie at a fancy restaurant. And YDI for not ******** before your date.

aback 4

Saturday 12 September 2009 14:05

Really. Why would anybody save it up for DURING the date? Does that cap off the perfect evening for some people?

Mauskau 35

Saturday 12 September 2009 15:49

i'd go before i went. i hate using toilets in public for the sole reason that other people can hear me. i can hold onto *****.

Vaetrus 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:36

There are some things you do before you go out. Especially on a date. You gotta relieve yourself beforehand man. Take care of yo biz-ness.

gonzolove 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 22:51

Eating food and calling people Poopoo Man, apparently.

Intoxicunt 5

Saturday 12 September 2009 23:31

Because, aback, that way they have ammo for a blumpkin, Cleveland steamer, Boston pancake, Alabam hot pocket, etc.

Emberlin 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 4:15

#50 is the funniest person on this site; I love you!

moonlight_daze 8

Sunday 13 September 2009 8:29

I agree with #57.

Unlucky_Gun 0

Thursday 9 February 2012 1:01

Yeah I don't like crapping in public either. Anyway, you people are all dumb. Maybe OP didn't have to go before his date. Fucktards

666HailSatan666 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:09

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hoofin 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:13

And this is why little kids should not be allowed in public

gonzolove 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 20:52

Agreed. I hate those little *******.

Mystery01234 4

Tuesday 11 November 2014 15:20

**** you guys for disliking little children.

NotASquirrel 19

Thursday 6 August 2015 23:35

There are also the terrible parents who let the children do whatever they want.

rosyrose 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:15

what she say? lol

vendris 5

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:23

Oh no, you did something completely natural, **** your life indeed.

will90 5

Saturday 12 September 2009 22:26

While going to the bathroom is natural, relieving oneself in an (apparently) obnoxiously loud manner while on a date is not socially normal. What it is, is hilarious. Good FML.