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Oh hi, OP here with much desired answers its seems. I adopted the cat from the local vet/asylum. They gave it to me as male and neutered. Even in the store I spotted it was most probably a she, but I didn't want to make a fuss and didn't care. I named her Violet, and she has a little brother named Dash. Kudos to whomever gets the reference. The big surprise for me was that not only did the vet **** up the gender, they also got the neutered part wrong.

By crossl17 - 12/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new $10,000 car since my old one broke down. Today, I also found out the old one wasn’t starting because i never had it in park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 4 692

By JustShutUp - 27/07/2016 18:40

Today, my neighbour was singing in the shower so loud that I could understand every word. He was singing "Purple Rain", which wouldn't have been so bad if he only knew a bit more of the lyrics. He has been singing those same two words for half an hour now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 529

You deserved it 939

By jaym42013 - 22/07/2016 19:29 - United States - Clovis

Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had to stop at Starbucks to get my boss a drink. His son, who is at least 30 minutes late to work every day, was just walking in as I was walking out with all of my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 884

You deserved it 1 117

Get me out of here

By IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 270

You deserved it 1 759

By Kimel - 22/01/2016 00:11 - France - Vincent

Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 2 340

By family heirloom gone - 17/11/2018 12:00

Today, my husband threw away the cast iron skillet my family has cooked with for generations because it had some specks of rust that were perfectly fixable. My 5th great-grandfather had that skillet in 1890 when he was a chuck wagon driver for the cowboys during their cattle drives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 085

You deserved it 247

By Anonymous - 26/06/2016 12:22 - Australia - West End

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 500

You deserved it 5 519

This doesn't feel nice

By Deadbed - 04/05/2019 16:00

Today, I had sex with my wife. After we finished and were cuddling, she said, "This is the part I like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 669

By Lesbian - 14/01/2017 10:00

Today, my coworker, who I hardly ever speak to, gave me a birthday present. It was an 8,000-word extremely graphic story of how he convinced a lesbian to have anal sex with him in the work bathroom. She had my name and characteristics. I'm the only lesbian he knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 165

You deserved it 721

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 14:28 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. My wife came in and thought I was jerking him off. She wouldn't believe my explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 722

You deserved it 1 135

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

"Hey, where the white women at?"

By Steven, Customer Service - 17/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Dover Plains

Today, I took a call from a man who said his dating apps are connecting him with "black and oriental women" when he only wants white women. I spent 47 minutes on the phone with this customer trying to explain that I am only an AT&T Service Rep and have no control over any dating apps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 875

You deserved it 453

By gavthewarealpaca - 16/05/2016 09:36 - United States - Holly

Today, my mattress has gotten so old and trashed that I was woken up by two springs ripping through my bed sheets and stabbing me in the leg and abdomen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 975

You deserved it 2 179

gavthewarealpaca tells us more.

gavthewarealpaca 21

Tuesday 17 May 2016 8:04

Hey everybody, OP here, I love all the puns you have made and the concern. The spring that hit my leg went pretty far in, it chipped a small piece off my femur and the one in my abdomen was only skin deep. I'm currently in the hospital recovering from the surgery to get the little chip of bone out of my leg. I'm doing well and will be out within a few days! Thank you for the publish!!

By Anonymous - 23/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Cypress

Today, my mother-in-law threw bricks at my car. Her defense? I shouldn't have parked in her brick throwing spot, in my own driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 779

You deserved it 458