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Hey! This is a true story people. She got wedged in a ramp comming out of a McDonalds in winter. She slipped, and fell where it was a concrete walled-in ramp. the walls were just tall enough to make it hard. She also had some sort of braces on her ankles....so, she couldn't be rolled to one side or the other, no room to even squeeze in beside her. We actually had a LPN come along who knew how to properly lift someone heavy, and by herself.......I was only trying to help a sister out.....and she was not commando thank god! For all you who are interested in my afterlife status.....I don't believe in god, and it WAS an accident. I just figure I might be wrong, and no-one is suposed to have seen what I saw....that's all I'm saying people. KarmaGirl

By Anonymous - 04/03/2013 08:02 - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 223

You deserved it 3 892

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:37 - Australia

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 222

You deserved it 2 830

By Anonymous - 12/09/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my 23 year old boyfriend of 2 years was forced to dump me, over the phone, by his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 218

You deserved it 3 252

Say Anything 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 06:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 218

You deserved it 8 975

By BlindInTheDark - 09/10/2013 18:02 - United States - Londonderry

Today, I again failed to convince my girlfriend that the $100 in our account is the minimum amount we have keep there to avoid being charged by the bank. We have a joint checking account, and the only way to take her off it is to close the account outright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 218

You deserved it 7 668

BlindInTheDark tells us more.

BlindInTheDark 4

Thursday 10 October 2013 7:24

Hey everyone, I see a lot of people in favor of the "close it outright" option, but of course I forgot to mention that in order to do so, we both have to go in and agree to close it. The only reason didn't do that ages ago is because I haven't come up with a way to convince her it's for the best, and since I DO plan to commit to her, I don't want to upset her.

By ppp - 14/09/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 217

You deserved it 3 422

By Username - 10/08/2011 06:12 - United States

Today, our AC broke. It's 98 degrees inside the house. My parents will be staying at a 5 star resort until the repairman can come to fix the unit in 6 days. They made me stay home to make sure the plants survive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 216

You deserved it 3 090

By Chubby - 17/11/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 216

You deserved it 5 182

By rejectedmidair - 13/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected it. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 216

You deserved it 7 069

By squirts - 27/11/2013 04:42

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 215

You deserved it 5 334

By Danielle - 22/08/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 215

You deserved it 4 400

By patty - 13/01/2009 02:47 - France

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 214

You deserved it 3 498

By Anonymous - 17/11/2012 00:30 - Croatia - Rijeka

Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 212

You deserved it 2 180

Master manipulator

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Turkey

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 212

You deserved it 6 111

By Keladrylady - 18/04/2015 00:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 208

You deserved it 3 527

Keladrylady tells us more.

Keladrylady 24

Sunday 19 April 2015 8:50

OP here, My bf happened to be half asleep and as such is rather blond when so. (So no, he doesn't need sex ed as it has little to do with this topic per say). Him squeezing me whilst on my period has been a discussion point over the 6yrs we've been together, as yes, if done right, literally (TMI) squeezes out (insert words) and I really hate it, (guys, think of it as similar feeling to wetting yourself accidentally, it's a really yuck feeling). Thanks though for your comments and FYL's. :3 you've made us both laugh til our cheeks were sore. So again Thanks.