Wow the fact that people like you turn a harmless comment into something more just angers me. First o all they said maybe and second of all I think OP has enough sense not to take bad advice from FML comments. Grow up and stop attacking people about their harmless statements.

21- FearShrine literally said nothing that could count as attacking 1. Giving a hypothetical situation is all they did. There was no cursing or name-calling whatsoever. In fact, the only person I see over dramatizing a comment is you. Defending someone for making a stupid comment will make you look stupid aswell. Think about that next time.

You dont make sense.

Neither do you.

You are a baby. Have a sense of humor troll

She deserves a lot more then just a push in a pool. Head injuries are no joke. Especially when he might even have a stuff neck. With his job he could be out for awhile. He kinda needs to be able to move about and whatnot. OP ban her for life. It's careless behavior and assault in away. Hope you aren't to banged up OP.

Karma? A little too much reddit, eh?

No, more like the supernatural belief of events being balanced with opposite events to make it neutral.

What's karma have to do with reddit? I don't even go on reddit, yet I understand the sayings such as "Karma's a bitch" and "Karma will get them back"

Ha I know, I was just shooting for a joke. I understand what karma is. Accept my apologies for the poorly delivered joke. We all have off days.

When does the narwhal bacon?

44- At midnight, of course.

I have actually developed a mathematical and alphabetical formula for finding out the answer to when the narwhal bacons. One sec.

Okay, to find the answer we take the first letters of each word of the phrase and count the number they are in the alphabet like this: •W - 23 •D - 4 •T - 20 •N - 14 •B - 2 If we add them all up we get 63. We then find the mean which is 12.6. If we count 12 times into the alphabet we the letter "L". So now we have 12L which means 12 o'clock at "low" sun. So therefore Midnight.

But... Aren't you supposed to round up...?

#58 - NO! You only take the numbers in front of the decimal point, I've worked too hard on this.

That's brilliant.

Or both.

Dumb bitch.

31-yeah....no.

Thats got nothing to do with irony,just how immature and stupid some people are.

And by it you mean the pool while he's not looking

Sure! Ha

I'm pretty sure this isn't a frequent event for lifeguards

A spine-board is used for supporting and correcting your spine, neck and head's position. So when OP got a concussion from it, it makes it ironic.

10 - I sincerely appreciate your clarification. I too was wondering.

#50 - The pleasure is all mine.

But it's not really ironic to be hit with one and suffer injuries. Spine-boards are heavy duty, they should be expected to hurt when they fall. If op were strapped in to prevent further injury but got her neck injured because she was in one, that's starting somewhere.

Yes, I'm sure at some point he considered activating bullet-time.

29- I've had a preorder on that shit for 3 months!

You *are* referencing Max Payne 3, correct?

Do you have eyes in the back of your head? No? Neither does OP

It would be pretty easy to hear -.-

It was behind him

Do you always hear the thing that was behind you? I sure hope not. Because if I do, I'm sure I'll scare myself shitless three quarters of the time. It's like the makings of a horror film.

I don't know OP personally, but I'm pretty sure they aren't psychic :1

I don't think any doors closed here, he'll just have a stiff neck for a few days.

A heavy piece of wood that hides a magical genie.

it's the board that they use to carry people out of the pool who are injured. It's called that because it's their to stop (hopefully) you from getting a spinal injury.

I know some will find it dumb, which is why 11's question was thumbed down, but I don't know what a spine board is either. Seriously, what is it/how is it used?

A spine board is used to get a unconscious drowning victim out of the water. The board is hard therefore their body is immobilized from getting bent up or something. Helps from getting further injury and getting them out. I'm a lifegaurd so I know this is what it's used for.

Great way to remember how to strap someone in a backboard. Nipples, nuts, knees.

Thanks for the explanation, I posted my comment before they appears (stupid iPhone app)

Except if it's a girl * wink wink *

A spine board is used for rapid extrication of an unconscious guest or for when a suspected spinal injury is present. In the case of a suspected spinal, you strap them down, maintain alignment, and place head stabilizers. As lifeguards we have less then 3 minutes from start to finish to get the fully stabilized and 6 feet away from the pool.