Work: Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after... - FML

By notpayedenoughforthisshit - 21/07/2014 21:15 - United States - Boone

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 717

You deserved it 3 434

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Same thing different taste

By frenchy - 24/03/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124 865

You deserved it 9 169

Nice neighborhood

By Rebecca c - 23/03/2021 08:01

Today, I had to clean up human poop that someone trailed through the store. Then, as I was cleaning up all the shelves at the end of the day, I saw that someone had changed their sanitary pad, took a new one out of the packed and used it, then left the used one on the shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 78

By Lola - 29/07/2019 06:00

Today, for the third time, I’ve had to clean a puddle of pee from the bathroom floor. I live alone, and I’m a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 563

Sniper

By kait - 29/11/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 990

You deserved it 2 340

Filthy animal

By Chris - 25/01/2022 14:01

Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 108

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 785

You deserved it 2 816

By mallcop - 14/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 2 636

By KP - 25/06/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 124

You deserved it 3 096

By cj1012 - 08/07/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 408

You deserved it 1 870

Live Laugh Love

By ihatewalmart - 29/06/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 3 210

Next

Top comments

brettrb 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:59

That's rough, OP. Crack open one of those beers, you deserve it.

BlackFames 16

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:57

You have bad customers...

Comments

soccerguy2o1 7

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:57

Must be a enjoyable job

garrett_8614 14

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:03

I'd be pretty pissed myself

Almost_Positive 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:05

There's such a huge about of puns on FML recently for some reason

xxrogerthatxx 19

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:58

an*; since when does blatant sarcasm get a pass on FML? Should've seen the downvotes coming.

xxrogerthatxx 19

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:03

14, amount*

cakefete2 30

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:04

14, what do you suggest we do to those who use puns? Should they be pun-ished?

xx000o 27

Tuesday 22 July 2014 12:33

Do your very best, clean it up with a smile and go to your next task. You will have jobs in the future that will make you wish all you had to do was mop up some piss.

mete_orito 34

Tuesday 22 July 2014 15:21

Like dodging 400 lb inmate's turds

sometimessam 16

Wednesday 23 July 2014 0:36

#24/#27, anyone who reads this notices the mistakes. Your corrections serve no purpose other than annoying those who read the comments.

BlackFames 16

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:57

You have bad customers...

football98_fml 20

Tuesday 22 July 2014 12:13

What piss off customers

desoxyn242 14

Tuesday 22 July 2014 17:40

More like he has bad coworkers who force him to do grunt work...FYL OP

3mi1y_ 16

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:58

I feel your pain with having a shitty job

tucansamTommyG 12

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:06

Actually a pissy job

FrancesShiver 20

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:58

Who the **** does that??

OhWhoCares 42

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:24

Evidently, OP's customers do.

FrancesShiver 20

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:28

Omg, really?

Almost_Positive 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:34

@20 tಠ_ಠ @18 (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

FrancesShiver 20

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:23

*෴*

Arwen_Evenstar 37

Tuesday 22 July 2014 10:36

People who are already drunk I'd assume.

Danne696 14

Wednesday 23 July 2014 1:42

If they are drunk enough to piss themselves when buying even more beer they should be denied.

brettrb 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:59

That's rough, OP. Crack open one of those beers, you deserve it.

NYM88 26

Tuesday 22 July 2014 12:51

Only if they aren't piss warm!

ostfaiz 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:59

you must be pissed of Op..FYL

Fiorella1 19

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:28

Off*

ostfaiz 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:47

yes OFF, it went off ;)

dabears1011234 27

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:57

#23 *meant

loathingloser 14

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:01

I be pretty pissed too

tayymeds 23

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:02

If anyone asks, someone broke a bottle.

GetDuped 11

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:03

Looks like you're in a pissy mood.

CallMeWindSock 24

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:03

Soon, you'll start hearing "clean up on aisle 13" in your nightmares.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 547

You deserved it 618

Today, as a CNA, I had to go through the belongings of a patient. His phone rang and I answered - it was his boss. As I explained, he cut me off and said to "drop the act" and "he better be there now or he's fired". He was pronounced dead-on-arrival. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 674

You deserved it 197

The Top

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 793

You deserved it 10 492

Today, I logged into our family's shared Amazon account to buy some gift cards for Mother's Day. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw the cart already had 6 items in it. Turns out my forgetful stepbrother was debating on what gazebo to buy and forgot to take the items out of the cart. Why'd he put them in there though? FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 370

Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 566

You deserved it 2 588

Today, I'm locked out of my phone, out of my email, and out of my credit card. All websites to restore access to all of these send text messages to your phone or an app to unlock them. On top of that, I only got 3 hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 87

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 494

You deserved it 4 954

Today, I learned that not all toilets are created equal. I visited a friend's house, and their super fancy toilet decided to give me a surprise bidet experience. The water pressure was so high, I ended up soaking my clothes. I had to borrow my friend's brother's clothes. He’s 14. I’m 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 89