Work: Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after... - FML

By notpayedenoughforthisshit - 21/07/2014 21:15 - United States - Boone

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 718

You deserved it 3 434

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Same thing different taste

By frenchy - 24/03/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124 868

You deserved it 9 169

Nice neighborhood

By Rebecca c - 23/03/2021 08:01

Today, I had to clean up human poop that someone trailed through the store. Then, as I was cleaning up all the shelves at the end of the day, I saw that someone had changed their sanitary pad, took a new one out of the packed and used it, then left the used one on the shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 78

By Lola - 29/07/2019 06:00

Today, for the third time, I’ve had to clean a puddle of pee from the bathroom floor. I live alone, and I’m a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 564

Sniper

By kait - 29/11/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 992

You deserved it 2 340

Filthy animal

By Chris - 25/01/2022 14:01

Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 108

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 790

You deserved it 2 817

By mallcop - 14/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 809

You deserved it 2 638

By KP - 25/06/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 125

You deserved it 3 096

By cj1012 - 08/07/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 410

You deserved it 1 870

Live Laugh Love

By ihatewalmart - 29/06/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 212

Next

Top comments

brettrb 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:59

That's rough, OP. Crack open one of those beers, you deserve it.

BlackFames 16

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:57

You have bad customers...

Comments

soccerguy2o1 7

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:57

Must be a enjoyable job

garrett_8614 14

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:03

I'd be pretty pissed myself

Almost_Positive 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:05

There's such a huge about of puns on FML recently for some reason

xxrogerthatxx 19

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:58

an*; since when does blatant sarcasm get a pass on FML? Should've seen the downvotes coming.

xxrogerthatxx 19

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:03

14, amount*

cakefete2 30

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:04

14, what do you suggest we do to those who use puns? Should they be pun-ished?

xx000o 27

Tuesday 22 July 2014 12:33

Do your very best, clean it up with a smile and go to your next task. You will have jobs in the future that will make you wish all you had to do was mop up some piss.

mete_orito 34

Tuesday 22 July 2014 15:21

Like dodging 400 lb inmate's turds

sometimessam 16

Wednesday 23 July 2014 0:36

#24/#27, anyone who reads this notices the mistakes. Your corrections serve no purpose other than annoying those who read the comments.

BlackFames 16

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:57

You have bad customers...

football98_fml 20

Tuesday 22 July 2014 12:13

What piss off customers

desoxyn242 14

Tuesday 22 July 2014 17:40

More like he has bad coworkers who force him to do grunt work...FYL OP

3mi1y_ 16

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:58

I feel your pain with having a shitty job

tucansamTommyG 12

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:06

Actually a pissy job

FrancesShiver 20

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:58

Who the **** does that??

OhWhoCares 42

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:24

Evidently, OP's customers do.

FrancesShiver 20

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:28

Omg, really?

Almost_Positive 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:34

@20 tಠ_ಠ @18 (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

FrancesShiver 20

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:23

*෴*

Arwen_Evenstar 37

Tuesday 22 July 2014 10:36

People who are already drunk I'd assume.

Danne696 14

Wednesday 23 July 2014 1:42

If they are drunk enough to piss themselves when buying even more beer they should be denied.

brettrb 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:59

That's rough, OP. Crack open one of those beers, you deserve it.

NYM88 26

Tuesday 22 July 2014 12:51

Only if they aren't piss warm!

ostfaiz 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:59

you must be pissed of Op..FYL

Fiorella1 19

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:28

Off*

ostfaiz 18

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:47

yes OFF, it went off ;)

dabears1011234 27

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:57

#23 *meant

loathingloser 14

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:01

I be pretty pissed too

tayymeds 23

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:02

If anyone asks, someone broke a bottle.

GetDuped 11

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:03

Looks like you're in a pissy mood.

CallMeWindSock 24

Tuesday 22 July 2014 8:03

Soon, you'll start hearing "clean up on aisle 13" in your nightmares.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 873

You deserved it 3 783

Today, I caught my fiance lying about being at work. Furious, I started breaking his things, demanding to know what skank he'd been sneaking around with. He gave me a stack of receipts, saying he'd been Christmas shopping. He's not cheating, just getting me everything I wanted. God, I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 1 398

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 368

You deserved it 83 175

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 943

You deserved it 6 713

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 470

You deserved it 3 566

Today, my boyfriend truly is a master of efficiency, by successfully cutting sex down to one minute for a back massage, 1-2 minutes of foreplay, 20 seconds of penetration, 4-5 minutes lying on his back trying to catch his breath, followed by 8 hours of sleep, including gorilla-like snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 263

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 354

You deserved it 55 865

Today, my aunt asked me to have my 13-year-old autistic cousin stay over for the night. When he got here, he told me his mom forgot his Vaseline, and asked if I'd be a dear and go get some for him. His mom informed me that he uses it to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 847

You deserved it 754