All the FMLs

Haha this got published. So I turn around and the 8 people I work with started to clap. They said I have a good voice as well. I think they were most interested because I am usually pretty reserved and quiet. They invited me out to karaoke this weekend lol! And I was singing Johnny Cash songs btw. My voice is fairly deep so I think I can do his amazing songs justice.

OP here, don't know how to make this comment "OP Official" but anyway. I didn't download or torrent it, it was just a quick search. Apparently there's a huge industry for box office hit themed pornos. Our internet only opened up to a suddenlink page about the "copyright infringement" and all I had to do was check a box that we wouldn't do it again. Problem solved. Mild embarrassment, worth the laugh. And worth getting an FML published.

OP here! I didn't think my FML would get posted so I didn't create an account until now, haha. First, thank you all for your suggestions and understanding! Now, to clarify some things...(long comment incoming!) 1. I actually started researching for this assignment on Christmas (My family doesn't celebrate Christmas or New Years so I had no holiday celebrations to distract me). The institutional login went down on the 31st of December and during that time, I had just finished reading textbooks and articles on the Cognitive Metaphor Theory and have only started to look for articles related to my text and such. So yes, I spent 6 days reading up and researching more on the theory because I didn't understand it. Although I'm a second year English major, English is not my first language and it definitely isn't my country's national language either, so I had some trouble with certain words and concepts. 2. My classes officially ended after the first week of December, my class had consultations with our lecturers in the following week. It's not encouraged to start writing essays before the consultations because our ideas can be rejected and in Year 2, rejection is a high probability because we "need to be more unique" and "everything has been done to death". Also, paying attention in class rarely (in my experience) helps in university, especially for a course like mine because what you learn in class may never be applied in your essays. But yes, I actually did go and see my lecturer to have her explain things to me after each class, the unfortunate thing is that she speaks in a roundabout way so even when I ask her to clarify things further, it still makes no sense. Hence I often end up learning everything again by myself. 3. I had a 3000 word essay on Victorian Literature on top of this Stylistics essay. It's completely my fault for underestimating how much time and research I needed on my assignments (I spent two whole weeks on my Vic Lit essay) because I thought that my anxiety and perfectionist-tendencies wouldn't go insane this time round. 4. The Institutional login issue is a campus-wide one. Despite this, none of my classmates and I have the balls ask for a deadline extension. Prior to this issue, it has already been extended by a day and most of us don't want to bother our lecturer since she's the nicest one and the only one who really cares so far. She's also new and has done a lot for us (as in helping us catch up with the basics we weren't taught in Year 1 so that we can understand Stylistics). Also, as soon as it opened, I went over to the library to ask about what happened and they told me that the IT department decided to "restart" the servers, which I find ridiculous because it's less than a week away from examinations period and the majority of the university have their assignments due before examinations period starts. 5. My classmates are unfortunately on the same boat as I am, meaning, none of us get Stylistics enough to teach someone else. We've spent our entire time in Stylistics trying to catch up on the basics of Linguistics while learning Stylistics at the same time so a lot of whatever that's taught in Stylistics flew over our heads. 6. There's no "winter break" for my university because my country is a tropical country (which is weird because we have "summer break". Christmas is unfortunately also viewed as one of the minor holidays so no, there's no study break during Christmas as well, but it's still a public holiday. I hope that clears some things up! Also, I'm a 'she/her/female' :)

I might do that! Thanks for the suggestion. Good thing I haven't called her out on it yet. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing, though. It's been going on for years! And it's not like we are that intimate, or goof around much.

OP here, I wasn't logged in when I submitted this story, I hope the website will recognize my IP or something ! English isn't my native language, so I apologize in advance for the mistakes. I thought it had been rejected and was really surprised to read it in the FML list today ! 2017 is definitely starting well for me. My cat is a little devil, always has been, and probably always will be. Like #1, I'm used to having miaowing concertos all day and all night (I blame the siamese blood). And #10, yes she's incredibely smart (a bit too much), but it doesn't keep her from pooping on my bed/couch/carpet when she's annoyed at me, so maybe your cat is some kind of misunderstood genius as well ! Now, to all of you telling me to unplug it, here is the long version of the story : This story actually happened a while ago. I bought the piano around 2 years ago, never really got the chance to play it, and then lost the charger (?) so I couldn't play anymore. I only tried it once before loosing it, and the cat was fascinated, which is surprising because she usually hates music (she used to attack me, and not for playing, when I practiced my singing, and I had to give up on ever being able to play the whistle, harmonica or any kind of wind instrument because either she would miaow to death or run like hell to hide in the closet, and then revenge by pooping/peeing on something). Last november, I bought another charger, and as soon as I tried it, the cat went crazy, and spent the rest of the day sitting in front of the piano or climbing on it, waiting for it to make a sound. I didn't unplug it because basically the outlet is behind a bookshelf, so I have to crawl under the piano, manage to get my arm behind the shelf in the right angle to be able to push as hard as I can to get the darn thing in. So let's just say I won't do it everyday. Plus I knew she was smart, but I didn't think she'd be that smart ! So in the middle of the night (luckily I was having insomnias), I just heard the sound of the piano, and when I turned on the light saw the little furry monster jumping on it ! When she noticed me looking at her, she just miaowed happily and kept on jumping. I was laughing so much that I forgot to yell at her. After that, I just put my home phone to cover the button, so she wouldn't start again. But last week I must have pushed the phone a bit because she did it again (during the day this time), which gave me the idea for the FML :)