Clothes

Modesty

By Prudemama - 09/07/2022 10:00

Today, I found out that my 11 year-old daughter dresses skimpy when I drop her off on the weekends at my ex-husband’s house, courtesy of his girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. When I confronted her, she told me to “stop being such a prude” and with my attitude, “no wonder you get cheated on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 179

Shoelace dyslexia

By Ham-fisted - 08/07/2022 21:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I had to explain to yet another person that I can't tie a knot. Even if someone walks me through the entire process, I never get it. The person in question berated me for not being able to perform such a "simple" task. I truly don't know what I'm doing wrong, and it makes me feel like an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 361

Slippery when oiled

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 12:00

Today, as I walked with a coworker to my office through a gas station, I slid on some oil and fell right on my ass. He helped by holding my lunch. My jeans are ruined and I'm too broke to buy a new pair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 112

Get Back

By Bram - 24/06/2022 02:00

Today, marks my one hundredth pound loss. To celebrate, I put on my first backless dress I bought for this occasion. The dress fit great. Unfortunately, today also marks the realization that instead of inheriting my father's beautiful hazel eyes, the universe blessed me with his hard to get rid of back rolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 140

Belly bounce

By Somehow fat and flat at once - 08/06/2022 14:00

Today, my mother gave me a dress she'd made for herself at twenty five. I’m seventeen. It fits around the stomach but is gappy all around my butt and boobs. Thank you for reinforcing my theory that I’m somehow both flat and fat at the same time, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 252

Some taken

By Leggings - 07/06/2022 06:00

Today, I got called into my manager’s office for wearing “leggings.” They weren’t leggings, they were work pants with a straight leg. I said to her that the other girls wear them in the office. She told me, "But they have a slim figure, you're on the pudgier side and it looks bad. No offense.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 290

Putting people off their food

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 18:00

Today, in a restaurant, staff asked me to fix my skirt because multiple customers complained my buttcrack was putting them off their food. I thought the waiter was using fake complaints to justify his rudeness, but when I got up to fix it fully, half the restaurant applauded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 2 043

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 22:00

Today, at my little cousin’s birthday party, some spoilt child played a prank and placed chocolate cake on my seat just as I was about to sit. Let’s just say of all the days, today was a bad day to wear cream trousers and park the car quite a way away from the venue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 137

Wedding from Wish

By not that cheap - 15/05/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me to quit my bitching and to just order a wedding dress off Wish. I'm willing to get an inexpensive dress and in fact I hate designer labels altogether. However, I draw the line at the cheap, poorly made crap from that site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 231

Internalized misogyny

By eyeroll - 08/05/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, I had a fight with my husband after I went off on his aunt. We were at her house for a BBQ, she saw me in my casual shorts and tank top, and said to him, “You let her walk out the house like that? She’s a walking rape invitation!” He says she can say whatever she wants since she’s old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 469

You deserved it 197

Egg mode

By Anonymous - 08/05/2022 02:00

Today, my wife got turned on by the muscular girl from the movie Encanto and asked me if I'd be willing to dress as her the next time we have sex. I love my wife and I enjoy sex as much as anyone, but she must have lost her mind if she thinks I'll wear a skirt so she can pretend I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 604

Bait

By Anonymous - 03/05/2022 10:00 - United States - Sardinia

Today, I got a text from my ex-girlfriend asking me if I wanted an old college hoodie back. I said yes and thank you, and she replied saying, "Well I don’t respect you, so don’t contact me again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 104

Cosplay freakout

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 14:00

Today, our daughter was going to a cosplay event, until her dad saw the costume, or lack thereof, that she was planning to wear in public, with people taking photographs of her. He got so mad, he actually burst a blood vessel in his neck and had to go to hospital. She still went to the event. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 355

Wokescolds gonna wokescold

By DisneyGal - 22/04/2022 18:00

Today, I was screamed at by a girl, all because I wore a pride-themed Mickey Mouse shirt. Apparently, I’m supporting “hypocritical capitalist freaks” who profit off LGBT people, yet support anti-LGBT legislation. Also, she commented about my Starbucks drink, another “anti-LGBT company.” I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 368

Tight

By Pudgy - 11/04/2022 10:01

Today, I tried on a dress for prom. It took a while to zip, but I insisted it'd fit. I asked for help. When the lady finally managed to zip all the way, the dress completely ripped at the seams. Not only did I have to pay $169 for it, but the lady told me, “We have more dresses in the plus-sized section!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 1 790

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 22/03/2022 10:00

Today, I noticed some of my thongs were stretched out and now hung loose on my hips. I thought it might be the dryer set too hot but no, apparently my mom has been wearing them over her fat ass, and thought I wouldn’t mind since we occasionally share our hoodies. Not the same thing mom. GROSS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 128

What a coincidence

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 20:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 523

You deserved it 389

Going going gone

By Anonymous - 11/03/2022 06:00 - Germany

Today, I found some nice shirts on sale. As the prices were only valid for a few more days, I ordered them quickly. They didn’t lie about the prices changing, they just didn't mention that everything would actually be even cheaper than it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 181

New balls

By boxerswontdo - 06/03/2022 02:00

Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 306

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 28/02/2022 21:59 - United States - Morganville

Today, I thought the cashier said the new blouse I picked out was ugly as she was ringing me up. I'm really self-conscious about my fashion sense, so I snapped and started yelling at her. It wasn't until she was close to tears did I find out she said "lovely" not "ugly". So, that's another store I can't go back to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 2 974

Slightly homophobic, but OK…

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 04:00

Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 182

Never again

By fat inspiration - 24/02/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when my ex needs motivation to go to the gym, she posts a picture of herself in a pair of huge pants with the caption, “NEVER AGAIN!” Problem? They’re my pants, that I'd left at her place after we broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 214

Sir Mix-a-Lot's mom

By MomIsJelly - 22/02/2022 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I noticed that my mom had been hiding all my leggings and yoga pants from me. Upon asking her, she admitted that she was jealous that my butt is bigger than hers, and that when I wear those types of pants, it's like I'm "rubbing it in". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 149

Pants

By Hello12355 - 07/02/2022 12:59 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I found out my trousers have actually been slowing ripping on the side, after I'd been boasting to everyone I have lost weight and that, “My trousers are literally falling off me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 394

Oi bruv, you 'avin' a laugh?

By Anonymous - 28/01/2022 07:59 - United Kingdom

Today, as the shop is right round the corner, and I couldn’t be arsed changing, I kept my boob tube on under my jacket. Of course, at the shop, I slipped on spilled water and as I went down the tube came down as well, and I ended up lying there with my tits out for a group of teenagers to laugh at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 513

Exterminator

By being cheap is expensive! - 25/11/2021 05:01

Today, my wife’s unending cheapness and need for a “deal” has bitten us in the ass. Literally. She accepted a bag of clothes from a coworker and yup, you guessed it, it was infested with fucking bedbugs. Now our whole house has them, and all she said was, “At least the clothes can be washed.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 142

Tailor Swift

By Anonymous - 21/11/2021 07:59

Today, my fiancé has one leg shorter than the other after it was half blown off in the army, and his specially made wedding suit was delivered. They got the leg lengths the wrong way round. The wedding is in two days and he may have to wear his pants backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 110

Dress up

By Hystcheria - 06/11/2021 12:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 126

That stinks

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 02:00

Today, I Febrezed my one remaining suit because I haven’t had a chance to go to the dry cleaners yet. I Febrezed it over the bed, so some got on the sheets. My girlfriend then got home and hit me in the head with a vase, because she thought the Febreze on the sheets was another woman’s perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 219

Kinda sus, dude

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 11:00

Today, I found ladies knee-high socks that weren't mine. I don't even own a pair of knee-high socks. After bickering back and forth with my boyfriend, he said, "Actually now that you mention it, I thought they were yours and I put them there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 91

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I located my birth dad and asked him why I was put into care. Turns out my mom died, and since he hadn’t wanted me in the first place, he just gave me away and hoped to never see me again. He didn’t even invite me in, he threw a beer at me and threatened to call the cops unless I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 227

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 797

You deserved it 9 486

The Top

Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 801

You deserved it 34 044

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 776

You deserved it 2 890

Today, my bratty sister shoved me overboard during a boat ride. Not ten seconds after being pulled back on board, I got an earful of abuse from my parents. My sister is the family favorite and they refuse to believe that I didn't "provoke" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 834

You deserved it 917

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 142

You deserved it 8 884

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 189

You deserved it 7 961

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 483

You deserved it 166 722