Embarrassing

Disbelief

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 727

You deserved it 3 188

Such a rush

By Embarrassed - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 47 615

Thanks Mom

By melissa - 13/12/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my school sent me an email saying I would be transferred to another class this Monday. I told my mom about it. Turns out my drunk mom ran into my teacher at a bar and started berating her for being at the bar, instead of grading her “kid’s exam already.” I’m a high school senior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 89

Watch out!

By FlyLikeABird - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 904

You deserved it 4 448

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 284

You deserved it 433

Fitness is overrated

By Frankie says relax - 10/12/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 686

The golden rule of WhatsApp

By Atmaj - 07/12/2023 02:30 - India - Pune

Today, we got a notification about a test in my official college group. I decided to bitch about it with my friends in our group… Unfortunately, I didn't realise I'd actually said all of it in the official college group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 794

Golden rule

By Gilgamuch - 05/12/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, I forgot the golden rule when having windows open on your computer: always check which one you are typing in before hitting Enter to send. Me detailing my plan to fake a doctor's appointment for an extra day off to who I thought was my girlfriend means I now have to explain my miraculous recovery to my boss tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 878

Ready, steady…

By dan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 685

You deserved it 9 192

Doggy dog world

By Simon E - 03/12/2023 10:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I was in a Teams call with my work team, and I was getting really annoyed at a woman in the team just waffling on about nothing, I yelled, "Just shut up you fat pig, shut up!", not knowing my mic was unmuted, I had to lie, saying I was yelling at my dog for barking. Not sure anyone believed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 050

Well done!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 609

You deserved it 5 045

Business on top

By Paulie - 25/11/2023 05:00 - Australia

Today, I attended a virtual meeting on Zoom. In an effort to appear professional, I wore a business shirt and tie… with my pajama bottoms out of shot under the table. My camera slipped, revealing my mismatched clothes and also my footwear – one sock and one fuzzy slipper. I only noticed after my boss pointed it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 565

Cool moves, dude

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Goteborg

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 367

You deserved it 37 951

Time to start a band

By Jonny - 24/11/2023 10:00

Today, I attempted a DIY haircut. In the process, I somehow managed to give myself a reverse mohawk. I now look like I'm auditioning for a punk rock band from the 80s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 543

Going viral has its cost

By Alyssssssa - 22/11/2023 22:00

Today, I was with my friends doing TikTok dance moves. Mid-spin, I crashed into the coffee table, knocking over a bowl of chips and salsa. My attempt at a graceful recovery ended with me tripping over the salsa-covered rug and landing face-first into the spilled mess. My friends filmed the entire debacle "for the Tok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 692

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 4 697

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 352

Impressive

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 783

You deserved it 88 184

Emotional

By skyeraven - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 320

You deserved it 4 768

Bummed out

By Anon - 11/11/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 805

Tough shit

By c.m.g. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 583

You deserved it 3 936

Inside out?

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 21:00

Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 147

Bugging out

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 16:00 - Italy

Today, there's a guy in my class who I'm very attracted to. I'm hyperconscious of him for that, and I worry about the impression I give. By now though, there have been at least two different eye contact occasions that made it look like I was staring at him when I was NOT, and now I must look like a creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 454

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 15:00

Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 582

Blown my cover

By Anonymous - 05/11/2023 13:00 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo Este

Today, I thought it would be interesting to flirt with a colleague from work via WhatsApp, I just forgot that my WhatsApp Web was open when I plugged the HDMI to the screen. The colleague is the director of the company, and 300 coworkers read the entire conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 1 027

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 782

You deserved it 99 809

Nervous

By Mike-al - 05/11/2023 09:00 - Germany

Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 183

GrossAir

By Nolongeracriminal - 05/11/2023 06:11

Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 190

Nolongeracriminal tells us more.

Nolongeracriminal 16

Sunday 5 November 2023 2:06

I didn't realize it until after I got back to my seat. I definitely wasn't going to touch that. Nothing like walking thru an airport with no shoes on.

I have no idea what I'm doing

By Anonymous - 04/11/2023 15:00 - Ghana - Accra

Today, I was called to solve a problem question at the start of a lecture. I stupidly went up to the board before telling the lecturer in front of 300+ students that I had no Idea what he had been doing the whole week. The lecturer made a sneery comment about why some of us are blockheads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 491

Where am I?

By Blind AF - 04/11/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I mistook a straw hat for a stack of pancakes. In case you hadn't figured it out, I forgot my glasses at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 324

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Keywords

Family Christmas Awkward Relatable Technology Social Media Narcissistic parents Holidays Money Drunk Love Gifts Religion Shopping Miscellaneous AITA Furniture Delivery Cheating Facebook Sex Dogs Animals Cold weather Bosses Work Embarrassing Cute Am I overreacting? Cats

The Top

Today, I got home and found my girlfriend in bed with another guy. After the screaming, yelling, and kicking them both out of my house, all I wanted was whiskey. I found the bottle under the bed. It wasn’t enough the guy was porking my girlfriend, he had to drink my booze too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 112

Today, and for the last few months, I finally have enough money to be able to move into my own place. I can finally have girls over. I am also at the age of 26, where most girls stop wanting to go over to a guy's house. I wish I was 18 again, when independence is seen as new and sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 307

The Top

Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 82

Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 759

You deserved it 3 221

Today, I tried to seduce the girl I like by telling a joke. It turns out my delivery was so bad that she asked if I was auditioning for a new version of "The Room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 621

Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 16 520

Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 421

You deserved it 4 316

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 105

You deserved it 8 578