Family

Grandma's here!

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 14:00

Today, my mother-in-law was so rabid to meet her first grandson, she didn’t just nudge me aside to get to the delivery room, she two-hand shoved me in the chest so I flew backwards and down a flight of stairs. I’m now in a neck brace for a hairline crack to my vertebrae and can’t pick up my own son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 76

What an asshole

By Cam - 26/10/2021 16:59 - Canada

Today, after I found out my uncle took me off my grandma's funeral program, I had to fight to speak. He spent the week taking out his jealousy and anger on me and my sister for being included in her funeral. To everyone else he's played the saint, and the whole family has no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 106

Have we met?

By Perpetual shrugging - 26/10/2021 02:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was in a group chat with my mother and siblings. Midway through, my mom specifically tells my siblings how proud she is of them, and how they’ve always been by their side and loves them. I wasn’t even included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 87

Herman Cain Award

By Anonymous - 23/10/2021 17:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, my sister had a C-section to deliver her premature second child. She's also in ICU with a blood oxygen level of 60% because "vaccines are dangerous". We don't know if she will make it out of the hospital or, if she does, how much damage will be caused from the long-term hypoxia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 227

My kingdom for a lock

By IAmJacksDeflatedHappiness - 19/10/2021 23:00

Today, I asked my family not to disturb me while I slept, as I had hit over 72 hours of insomnia. My family must have heard me say, “Come in every 20 minutes and wake me up with whatever banal shit you can think of.” I gave up when my mother-in-law decided to enter my room and start vacuuming the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 114

Diversion tactics

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 08:00

Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 73

Quality family time

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 02:00 - United States - Verona

Today, I made a nice dinner for my relatives, as we share the same quarters for lockdown. For an hour, I had to hear the same old complaints about other relatives for the last ten years that I have been hearing about every day since lockdown. I wanted to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 109

Godammit Ursula!

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my sister has been telling people I’ve been dead for the last 3 months, to cover up the fact she used me to commit identity fraud. We’re identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 75

Superspreaders

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 05:00

Today, I had dinner with my aunt and uncle recently. Halfway through, my uncle says, “This gravy tastes weird, does it taste OK to you? Oh sorry babe, I forgot you haven’t been able to smell or taste anything lately.” Well, into quarantine I go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 145

I wanna be oppressed so bad

By Anonymous - 14/10/2021 02:00

Today, I found my 30 year-old sister-in-law's TikTok. All she posts on it is indigenous issues and goes on rants about how hard life is for her and her ancestors. She's white, but claims to be Blackfoot and "white passing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 113

Just a prank, bro

By unlucky dudebag - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw while wearing hockey masks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 317

You deserved it 4 748

Keeping it in the family

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 15:01 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my dad tried to hook me up with someone. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 85

Genetic test

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 02:00

Today, it's not fair: I’ve seen my twin brother drink 2 full bottles of whiskey without getting more than tipsy, then go to work the next day completely fine on only 2 hours sleep, meanwhile I get completely trashed if I have more than 3 normal pints and take days to recover from the hangover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 330

Stay mad

By shut mouth - 11/10/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my mother is upset that I won’t share things with her anymore. This is the woman who spent my entire childhood gossiping about every teeny tiny detail of my life, and used my suicide attempt as a way to garner pity for herself. Yeah, no thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 129

Best day of my life

By poorgirl - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 330

You deserved it 3 510

Proud boy

By Spaghetto - 10/10/2021 05:00 - United States

Today, I had an argument with my brother after discovering his new Confederate flag tattoo. His main response was, "It's about heritage, not hate!" We're third generation Italians from New Jersey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 157

It's all too much

By IHaveThePower - 07/10/2021 23:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I spent all day cleaning for my grandparents to come over, only for my grandfather and father to interrupt me, talk over me, and treat me like I'd done something wrong. I'm autistic and was infodumping. They know this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 187

Nice to see you too

By mcfatty - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - India - Bangalore

Today, despite having a bunch of work and school related things to do, I made time to go visit family I hadn't seen in a while. The main topic of discussion was how fat I've gotten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 156

You deserved it 1 667

Brotherly love

By Anonymous - 07/10/2021 11:00

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex with the girl from next door, whom I’ve been in love with for years, but alas she isn’t a lesbian. She’s entitled to date whoever she likes, but my brother knows how I feel about her and seduced her anyway in our shared flat, which was a real douche move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 542

Family values

By family sucks! - 06/10/2021 23:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I ran into my aunt I hadn’t seen since I was a child. My mom told me she took off and stopped speaking to everyone. After lunch, I asked her why she left. She said our whole family ostracized her for aborting her abusive husband’s baby and divorcing him instead of "making it work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 390

You deserved it 118

It's a conspiracy!

By Anonymous - 06/10/2021 23:00

Today, it turns out calling out my mother's best friend out for the right-wing conspiracy theorist she is wasn't one of my best ideas. Now, my mother won't even reply to my messages. It's been two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 503

Main attraction

By kcountry92 - 01/10/2021 22:01 - United States - Archie

Today, my mother thought it would be a wonderful idea to make me late for me own wedding. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't focused solely on my sister because my wedding didn't center on her. The sister in question snubbed being my maid of honor over a year ago, and just decided to randomly show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 87

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 18:01 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, my grandmother passed away recently, and I moved in with my mother to support her. My two uncles and my cousin (a technician, photographer, and a theologist) who are in a joint venture wanted to discuss business. I felt like a loser, waiting in the other room, while they sat in my Management Consultancy office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 150

Shitgibbon

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 05:01

Today, here in Canada, my father-in-law talked to me about how people who are "not Canadians" are destroying the country. He called me an "import" several times within the course of an hour. I've been a citizen for over twenty years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 119

Love is blind

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 05:02

Today, my mom disowned me and forced me to move out because I didn’t have a crying heartbroken meltdown at the death of my stepfather. She knows I hated the man's guts since the first time he slapped her, so my not caring about his death shouldn't have surprised her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 83

Young at heart

By nothreat33 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister that read, "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 565

You deserved it 3 877

That's not how that works, it's not how anything works

By Ariane - 26/09/2021 14:00

Today, in France, a "Vaccine Pass" is needed to do most things. Some family members came to visit, but as they aren't vaccinated they usually just stay home. They told us that we're dangerous, because we carry "millions of viruses" from the vaccine, and it will be our fault if they get Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 215

Nepotism rules

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 10:59

Today, over a year after my aunt started working for my dad, her timesheets are 8 months overdue. Dad gets mad at me when I complain. She has no consequences, even though business taxes will be very late. She complains about taxes on her 6-figure salary, while I'm part-time hourly. I wish I could find a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 111

Best teeth in the game

By floss can't skewer people - 22/09/2021 02:00

Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 91

Thief!

By mystery - 19/09/2021 05:00

Today, my mom blocked me on everything, kicked me out of her house, and declared that I'm "dead to her." Why? She ordered a package, but it never came. I’m still trying to process how that could possibly be my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 71

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my son is apparently old enough for his dad to teach him the “Don’t tell mommy” game, such as, "Don’t tell mommy you had extra dessert", or "Don’t tell mommy it was daddy who accidentally broke the window with daddy’s secret new air rifle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 181

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 098

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I came home from work to find my things outside my yard and the door locks changed. I called my wife to let me in and she told me to go live with, “That homewrecking whore who texted you last night” instead. She’s talking about my cousin, who informed me via text that my aunt’s in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 103

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 484

You deserved it 26 347

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 125

You deserved it 28 929

Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to, "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 249

You deserved it 3 005

Today, I found out when my new roommate said she was self-employed, she really meant unemployed. She insists that I let her stay for free or she will file a sexual assault case against me. Rent is due on the 10th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 157

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 350

You deserved it 3 963