Yay I'm the OP I'm happy this got posted. I'm 22 and coach girls volleyball. A volunteer basketball coach didn't recognize me and thought I was a student. This happens when we go to away games too. The coaches of the other teams will tell me to leave until my coach is here and even some high school students think I'm on the team. I think it's pretty funny and am glad I still look young.

By tallguy - 29/08/2013 13:40 - Australia - North Adelaide

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 600

You deserved it 4 397

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 821

You deserved it 2 732

By oD_Ronan - 29/08/2013 07:39 - United States - Olympia

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 311

You deserved it 4 529

By Pontiacman92 - 29/08/2013 07:07 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 088

You deserved it 9 021

By notsolucky - 28/08/2013 21:47 - United States - Stamford

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 235

You deserved it 3 484

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 21:29 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 770

You deserved it 3 172

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 18:50 - United States - Bessemer

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 915

You deserved it 58 981

By AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse - 28/08/2013 13:25

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 328

You deserved it 3 454

How soon is now?

By Grandmas lost it - 28/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 908

You deserved it 3 549

Nice, thanks

By sweetnan - 28/08/2013 01:29 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 320

You deserved it 8 356

Keep quiet

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 23:12 - United States - Hollywood

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 782

You deserved it 3 484

By ocdistheworst - 26/08/2013 20:05 - United States - Gardena

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 669

You deserved it 3 888

Thanks

By Miami6and3 - 26/08/2013 18:22 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 503

You deserved it 5 319

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 20:37 - United States - North Bend

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 598

You deserved it 2 889

By cassidy_smith12 - 24/08/2013 14:55 - United States - Medina

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 532

You deserved it 3 570

By horrible daughter - 24/08/2013 10:23 - United States - Santee

Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 044

You deserved it 8 437

By Holding - 24/08/2013 05:21 - United States - Staunton

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 178

You deserved it 3 077

By Singer_Song - 23/08/2013 05:04 - United States

Today, I was at the library. I had to use the restroom, where I ended up singing in bad, made-up Japanese the whole time. When I went back across the library, my brother informed me that everyone could clearly hear me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 376

You deserved it 43 503

Singer_Song tells us more.

Singer_Song 0

Saturday 24 August 2013 0:41

I'm the OP. The reason I say Japanese specifically is because I do know a few words and included them in the song. I do love anime. I'm actually a really good singer, I've bee compared to Evanescance (I'm not trying to show off I have no reason to show off to online strangers). I was singing because I had a tune in my head and was being silly. Also the restroom is in the back of the Library so I didn't think it would go that far. I didn't know because not a single person made a face or anything.

By thanksad - 23/08/2013 01:38 - United States - Cerritos

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 424

You deserved it 3 697

By Ugly - 22/08/2013 23:40 - United States - Jerseyville

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 198

You deserved it 3 519

By Baustigt - 22/08/2013 14:48 - Australia - Perth

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 727

You deserved it 13 837

By MissCharlotte - 21/08/2013 04:06 - United States - Downers Grove

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 837

You deserved it 3 143

MissCharlotte_fml tells us more.

MissCharlotte_fml 26

Friday 23 August 2013 2:23

Hi everyone, I am the OP. I am so glad this got published!! Also, all of these coments are great :) To add more to the story: My sister and I went out to lunch with my dad because he was in town and wanted to see us. He seemed to have changed since he divorced my mom 15 years ago, so we let him drive us home, which is how he knew where our apartment was. Later that night, I heard noises in our apartment, so my badass sister tackled him and pepper-sprayed him as he was trying to pick up our TV. He was aressted (he actually had a knife) and we are getting a restraining order against him.