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By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 00:07 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 707

You deserved it 4 699

By kiwichick4life - 30/07/2013 16:42 - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 657

You deserved it 14 175

By kayak probs - 30/07/2013 14:13 - United States - Newtown

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 404

You deserved it 25 962

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 06:52 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 900

You deserved it 3 832

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 265

You deserved it 3 705

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 585

You deserved it 21 161

By PrettyScared - 29/07/2013 15:07 - United States - Matthews

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 633

You deserved it 6 055

By LeaveTheGuyAlone - 29/07/2013 00:18 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 483

You deserved it 5 103

By -_- - 28/07/2013 22:58 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 7 555

By Anonymous - 28/07/2013 17:38 - Slovenia - Ruse

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 621

You deserved it 3 538

By Mia - 28/07/2013 06:18 - United States - Laurel

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 987

You deserved it 4 687

By Anonymous - 28/07/2013 04:59 - United States

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 991

You deserved it 30 012

By ¬_¬ - 27/07/2013 22:43 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, then said, "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but… nevermind", shook his head and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 386

You deserved it 26 627

By kilamo80 - 27/07/2013 09:26 - United States - Clarkston

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 486

You deserved it 4 169

Nervous Nelly

By Odnel - 27/07/2013 04:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 197

You deserved it 3 835

By turning red - 27/07/2013 01:14 - United States

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 453

You deserved it 10 317

Drunk mom

By trailertrashyanditsucks - 26/07/2013 19:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 062

You deserved it 3 827

By Anonymous - 26/07/2013 14:26 - United States - Campbellsville

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 576

You deserved it 18 775

Unwelcome addition

By Anonymous - 26/07/2013 07:06 - United States - Warren

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 887

You deserved it 3 645

By dareyale - 26/07/2013 06:10 - United States - Bessemer

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 114

You deserved it 4 165

dareyale tells us more.

dareyale 13

Sunday 28 July 2013 22:41

Hey guys OP here. Well I love my grandma but she always decides to come in during the early hours of the morning. She's always been like this. This one time when I was younger she took me on a wild hunt for her boyfriend. We pulled up outside an old motel and there he was. In a car. With a Hooker. My grandma jumped out the car and took off. She pulled them both out the car and started beating him. Have you ever seen a Hooker take off so fast in heels?!

By WhyThankYou - 26/07/2013 05:31 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists, and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 233

You deserved it 16 160