Yay I'm the OP I'm happy this got posted. I'm 22 and coach girls volleyball. A volunteer basketball coach didn't recognize me and thought I was a student. This happens when we go to away games too. The coaches of the other teams will tell me to leave until my coach is here and even some high school students think I'm on the team. I think it's pretty funny and am glad I still look young.

By tallguy - 29/08/2013 13:40 - Australia - North Adelaide

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 602

You deserved it 4 397

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 821

You deserved it 2 732

By oD_Ronan - 29/08/2013 07:39 - United States - Olympia

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 312

You deserved it 4 530

By Pontiacman92 - 29/08/2013 07:07 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 089

You deserved it 9 021

By notsolucky - 28/08/2013 21:47 - United States - Stamford

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 235

You deserved it 3 484

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 21:29 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 771

You deserved it 3 172

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 18:50 - United States - Bessemer

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 917

You deserved it 58 985

By AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse - 28/08/2013 13:25

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 329

You deserved it 3 455

How soon is now?

By Grandmas lost it - 28/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 909

You deserved it 3 549

Nice, thanks

By sweetnan - 28/08/2013 01:29 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 321

You deserved it 8 357

Keep quiet

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 23:12 - United States - Hollywood

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 784

You deserved it 3 485

By ocdistheworst - 26/08/2013 20:05 - United States - Gardena

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 670

You deserved it 3 888

Thanks

By Miami6and3 - 26/08/2013 18:22 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 505

You deserved it 5 319

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 20:37 - United States - North Bend

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 601

You deserved it 2 891

By cassidy_smith12 - 24/08/2013 14:55 - United States - Medina

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 532

You deserved it 3 570

By horrible daughter - 24/08/2013 10:23 - United States - Santee

Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 044

You deserved it 8 438

By Holding - 24/08/2013 05:21 - United States - Staunton

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 179

You deserved it 3 077

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, because I forgot to fill out a form, I accidentally held up payroll for the whole organization. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 475

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we were out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 764

You deserved it 18 515

The Top

Today, I had to beg my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This is a basic weekly argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 334

Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 526

You deserved it 2 889

Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 992

You deserved it 7 121

Today, I asked my husband if we could rekindle some of our old intimacy, get back in touch with each other’s inner selves, that sort of thing. He looked confused, then got a big smile and said, “You mean we can do anal again? Why didn’t you just say so?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 499

You deserved it 635

Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine. My children spent all day trying to stick magnets on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 93

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 209

You deserved it 4 177