Pregnancy

Baby fever

By mala_19 - 06/07/2023 18:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I've eaten two pieces of fruit, three crackers, and 3.5 glasses of juice. I've also vomited 3 times and peed myself once. Can someone please tell me why I thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant again? FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 654

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 03:00 - Belgium - Eupen

Today, I'm pregnant and feeling awful due to all-day-long morning sickness. My doctor suggested that I cancel all my social plans to be able to keep working. My doctor is also my husband, and the father of this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 250

Donor

By Anonymous - 03/07/2023 03:00

Today, a few weeks after my ex dumped me and I'd just started to get over it, she asked me to get her pregnant. We had sex once within the year we were dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 162

How could you?

By I hate my life - 25/06/2023 18:00

Today, I found out my ex-fiance and the girl he cheated on me with are expecting. It’s bad enough he jilted me at the altar four months ago, but the fact that they’re naming their son the same name I wanted to name my miscarried son pours lemon juice in the wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 128

Taking it well, it seems

By Gina - 12/06/2023 10:00

Today, it's been four days since I gave my husband the news that I’m pregnant, at which point he went out to “get groceries.” He still hasn’t come back. He won’t pick up my calls or texts. In fact, he blocked me on all social media and disabled his Find My iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 180

Body double

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 22:00

Today, I realised that my friend and I have the same cute, round belly. The problem is that she’s seven months pregnant and I’ve been on a diet with an intensive gym program since January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 223

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 12:00

Today, at Starbucks, I was sat next to a father and son where the son told his dad he wanted to meet in a public place for his own safety, because he had to tell him he’d gotten his half-sister pregnant. It might not sound like my FML but in the fist fight that followed they smashed my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 126

Stay safe in there

By herestowaiting - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I'm officially a week overdue. I went to the hospital, thinking I was in labor since I was in so much pain. Turns out it was just gas. The nurse couldn't hold back her look of pity as she told me this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 125

You deserved it 1 258

Worst parent of the day

By Not grandma to be - 01/06/2023 18:00

Today, I had to throw my 16 year-old out of the house. Apparently, secretly have sex and aborting my grandchild was something she thought was acceptable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 3 227

Gold digger

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 21:00 - United States - Moscow

Today, I asked my boyfriend to help me with groceries, since the last of my money went to last week's groceries. His response was to start a fight, then tell me it's my fault my daughter acts the way she does, which is when he finally got me to break down and cry. I'm pregnant with his kid, and I also pay 90% of our bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 982

You chose, you lose

By Momtobe2007 - 24/05/2023 22:00

Today, my parents told me that since I'm old enough to want to keep my baby, I have 30 days to find a place to live. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 1 402

Extorsion, but kinda deserved

By Soon2beBroKe - 22/05/2023 06:00

Today, I'm now jobless and girlfriend-less. The cat got out of the bag that I impregnated my co-worker, who I’ve been secretly dating. What caused this? I didn’t have enough hush money to pay my other co-worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 3 886

Suspicious coincidence?

By Confused - 20/05/2023 15:00

Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 137

Oh happy day!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Poplar Hill

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 716

You deserved it 16 176

Deflated

By Anonymous - 17/05/2023 00:00

Today, and the for the past few weeks, my husband has been sulking because I’ve recently stopped breastfeeding and my boobs have started shrinking back to their original A cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 202

Such a Samantha

By heartbroken - 07/05/2023 22:00

Today, I excitedly told my best friends I was pregnant. Their responses were, "Ewww, I hate babies", "So we're not getting brunch anymore? That sucks" and "Do you need an abortion? I know a great clinic." Not one of them congratulated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 304

My body, my choice

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend's mother asked him when we were going to have kids. I already have a daughter from a previous marriage, and that pregnancy was traumatic, nearly ending in my death. Not to mention that due to depression and anxiety, I have put on an unhealthy amount of weight, making pregnancy higher risk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 168

Insufferable

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 15:00

Today, my autistic dad asked while I was in the middle of giving birth if I could be quieter and to hurry up because he was four hours late for work. When I yelled at him, he faked one of his meltdowns so mom had to leave me to deal with him, even though it’s SUPER obvious when he’s faking. God I hate his guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 199

While I'm here…

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my longtime partner had a mental breakdown and broke into my home. After forcefully having to get him out of my house and dealing with Police all morning, my 16-year-old daughter decided to tell me that she's pregnant. She thought one hour after a break in was the right time to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 181

Grow up!

By UpTheDuff - 20/04/2023 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, after a necessary medical procedure that rendered my birth control ineffective, I found out I’m pregnant. I was already planning to break up with my manchild boyfriend, and when I told him this, his first response was, “What will my parents think?” Parents with whom he still lives at age 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 776

Daddy issues

By Anonymous - 20/04/2023 00:00

Today, all other moms I know have cute stories about their husbands panicking during the birth. Not me, mine flew to Vegas the week I was due and solicited an undercover female officer. He’s not held the baby yet, he’s still in jail for resisting arrest and contempt of court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 202

The audacity

By fuckthat! - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Madison

Today, my soon-to-be ex-husband had the audacity to ask if the woman he cheated on me with could be in the delivery room while I give birth to our baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 593

You deserved it 413

Why not both?

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 22:00

Today, I found out my fiancé cheated on me with my sister, because she got pregnant and dropped out of school. I don't know whose betrayal is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 145

Just no, stop

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 00:00

Today, I’m on my fifth miscarriage in nine years so we’ve had to decide to stop trying. Ever since we stopped, my mother in law is blaming me for giving her no grand-babies and uses every opportunity to try convince my husband to divorce me and marry a real, “fertile” woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 796

You deserved it 123

Running on empty

By SleepyRN - 31/03/2023 15:00 - United States - Round Lake

Today, it's been 3 weeks since I was suspended and the fired from my job for falling asleep at the desk. Very unprofessional, even if I was 29 weeks pregnant and sick. It's also been 3 weeks since I've had trouble falling asleep because I'm too used to working nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 244

Sounds like a lovely guy

By Blindsider - 28/03/2023 12:00

Today, I had my second miscarriage. My husband responded by throwing a bitch fit because I "totally blindsided him with this miscarriage shit” knowing he wanted kids, and if he'd known he wouldn’t have married me in the first place. He threw his wedding band in the trash and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 132

Superficial chud

By Saggy - 20/03/2023 04:00

Today, I was ready to get intimate with my husband 7 months after giving birth to our son. He always made excuses as to why he couldn’t. Our marriage was on the rocks because of this, so when I sat him down to talk he admitted that to save this marriage I need to get a “tummy tuck” and a “breast lift.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 089

You deserved it 242

Hypocrisy rules

By Anonymous - 12/03/2023 12:00

Today, I’ve been bricking it about telling my mom I’m pregnant but aren’t getting married to my boyfriend. My mom has a big thing about marriage. Then grandma told me mom’s just a hypocrite, because she got pregnant not only wasn’t she married, they had to do a DNA test to see who was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 187

Grindset mindset

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, and over the last week, I’ve spent about 10 minutes with my wife over 5 separate occasions because she is married more to her job than to me. And if anyone is interested those 5 occasions were unromantic sex because we’re trying to get pregnant, then straight back to her laptop to work more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 281

No thanks

By Kara - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my downstairs neighbor had a home birth. Not only did I hear eighteen hours of uninterrupted screaming, they called me afterwards to ask if I could come over to help them clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 039

You deserved it 2 868

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The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 834

Today, while power washing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'd just wash it away before it could sting me, I aimed the power washer nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as power washing your leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 84 350

The Top

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 123

You deserved it 10 275

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 796

You deserved it 2 193

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 708

You deserved it 3 563

Today, I spent many hours applying for many scholarships. When the sites asked for my e-mail, to let me know if I'd won, I gave them my school e-mail, one that I often check. I then come to find out the school doesn't let e-mails from outside the school system be sent or received. Lost thousands of dollars as far as I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 862

Today, I felt so self-conscious about my gut, I pushed it out and pretended I was pregnant rather than sucking it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 812

You deserved it 2 529

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 490

You deserved it 19 595