Pregnancy

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my sister announced that she just got engaged… right as I was in the midst of giving birth to my twin daughters. The thing is, she's not actually engaged. In fact, she's single. She just couldn't stand that I was "upstaging" her and "had to think of something fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 104

Denial

By twinArmageddon2 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - El Cajon

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 999

You deserved it 11 441

Adopt a different attitude

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 22:00

Today, I have always been adamant on not wanting children ever, then I did a stupid thing, and now I’m now single and pregnant with twins at 22 years-old. My life is so fucking over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 1 611

Teenagers…

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 10:00

Today, my 17 year-old is pregnant and I was fit to be furious, until my wife steamrollered over me to get to her, hugging her, and crying and how we’ll all raise it together as a big family. We can’t afford another baby. The daddy better be paying us something, or I’m gone kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 253

And yet they say romance is dead…

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 06:00

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend deliberately got pregnant, because they found out if she claimed to be a single mom, she could get a council house and free benefits, and then just move him in with her. They're both 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 283

Sorry not sorry

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 00:01

Today, I miscarried my baby. My teen sister, who has autism and can’t handle being around children, congratulated me on getting my freedom back, and also on miscarrying before I got fat like our mom. I can’t even yell at her because she wouldn’t understand why I’m upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 160

Invasion

By Anonymous - 31/03/2022 18:00

Today, and ever since we announced our pregnancy, my mother-in-law has invaded our home, taken over my hobby room, and tries to run our lives. I tried to go to the pub for a pint, one solitary pint, and she came and dragged me out by my ear, because "drinking is a sin", and I hadn’t done the dishes yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 309

Gotta get that sweet sweet nicotine

By MCMB33 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife smoking. This is after I quit over a month ago to show her my support and be a good influence on our child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 679

You deserved it 3 169

Dense

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 14:00

Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 865

You deserved it 220

Wandering star

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 21:00 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I thought my parents were divorcing over money, but it turns out the real reason is that my dad has been cheating for two years with a 20 year-old girl from his work. He only told my mom two months ago, after he got the girl pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 849

You deserved it 138

Nice comparaison, thanks

By CRH - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at 11 weeks pregnant, I excitedly told my best friend that my baby now has fingernails. Her response was, "You're beginning to sound like a pro-life bumper sticker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 341

You deserved it 21 417

Midlife crisis in style

By Anonymous - 15/03/2022 14:00

Today, my husband started his midlife crisis with a bang, or rather several bangs, as he admitted that there are two women out there pregnant with his babies. Oh, and he quit his job to escape the daily grind. Oh, and he remortgaged the house to buy a truck so we could go cross country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 109

Trapped

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 05:00 - United States - Mineola

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 188

Oh no, the economy!

By Barbara - 08/03/2022 21:59

Today, I’m 5 months pregnant. I really wasn’t feeling my best, so I called in sick. My boss responded with how my “selfish time off requests” are messing with the company’s production, and it’s not the company’s fault a “dude splashed inside me.” She told me to come in or “my kid goes hungry.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 321

Tonight, on Euphoria…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 00:01

Today, my 15 year-old just told me she's pregnant and she isn’t sure which guy she slept with is the dad. I can’t even deal with this, she's 15 so I’m sure sex is illegal at her age, plus which boyfriend? How many does she have? I’ve been sober for 26 years, but god I want a scotch right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 320

You deserved it 293

Trust

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 12:00

Today, I'm so confused. My husband had a vasectomy years ago, yet a bunch of symptoms and five pregnancy tests all say I’m pregnant. I’ve never cheated on him, but if a baby suddenly appears, there’s no way he won’t think I’m a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 211

Welcome to the world

By Anonymous - 14/02/2022 09:00 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I learned it is in fact possible to give birth despite having had no symptoms of pregnancy, including no weight gain. Our daughter made a surprise appearance this morning at 6 lbs exactly, and we are in no way ready. We don’t even have clothes for her. My husband is acting like he’s been concussed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 844

You deserved it 355

Event canceled

By Bachelorettenow - 11/02/2022 21:59

Today, I had to cancel my $15,000 wedding and send a mass e-mail to 90 guests that there won’t be a wedding. My now-ex fiance got fired from his job. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, if it wasn’t for the fact he got his colleague pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 276

You deserved it 171

Extenuating circumstances

By No diploma - 05/02/2022 17:59

Today, I found out that my professor dropped me from class because I missed a Zoom meeting. The only class I needed to graduate. Why did I miss the meeting? Because I was in labor for 32 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 162

Judge Judy

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 20:01

Today, my mother refuses to acknowledge my girlfriend and refuses to accept the baby she is carrying as her real grandchild, all because my girlfriend has tattoos, which apparently makes her a "whore", so the baby could be from any other guy except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 175

Such a great guy

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 22:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, I learned that people never change. My boyfriend left me at three months pregnant, the same thing he did to his last girlfriend. I know now exactly how things will go down for my successor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 1 161

Change my mind

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 01:59

Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 386

Dumping

By Baby Momma - 20/01/2022 22:00 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I found out that my breathing exercises I learned during pregnancy will not be for nothing after ending up having a C-section, because I'll apparently need them every time I relieve myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 120

Cigarettes or…?

By xander - 18/01/2022 01:59 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I learned that my mother almost did a perfect job being a parent when I was a baby. She was clean during the 9 month period I was in the womb. Unfortunately, she stopped right after giving birth to me, celebrated, and started smoking again. I was breastfed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 188

Sex ed

By Anonymous - 14/01/2022 05:01

Today, despite warning her multiple times, my daughter has gone and got herself pregnant by an idiot who has never held a job for more than 3 months, and once confidently told me the moon landing was a conspiracy. And yes, he scarpered the second he found out she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 213

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 02:01

Today, my boyfriend of two years completely lost it because last night I told him I wanted to move to a less remote area so I can be independent. He shouted that I bring no money in, he has to do everything, and that I that I snore so loud he can hear me from downstairs where he sleeps. I'm pregnant. We are in our 40s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 563

Let her fund it

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 17:01

Today, we found out my mother-in-law faked her terminal cancer diagnosis to guilt us into getting pregnant, so she could meet her first grand baby “before it's too late.” In no way can we afford this baby, we are already poor, so this will ruin us financially, yet she’s perfectly healthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 1 586

Good guys

By Raquel - 14/12/2021 08:01

Today, I found out my husband was having an affair with his coworker. When I had a talk with him about it, his response in all seriousness was, “Lose that weight that you didn’t have before and I’ll stop fucking her.” I’d gained weight giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 123

You deserved it 362

I know him so weeeeell…

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 05:00

Today, while discussing kids, my fiancé told me he has a kid already with his previous fiancé, but he hates kids so much, he left and moved to this country before it was born. He doesn’t even know if it’s a boy or girl, because he simply doesn’t give a toss. Yes, I’m pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 752

The joys of pregnancy

By Brittany Leighton - 10/12/2021 16:59

Today, I've had a cold for over a week, and I've been coughing so hard, I bruised my ribs. I'm also 8 months pregnant. Guess where my son likes to kick me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 137

Keywords

Politics Thanksgiving Miscellaneous Family Holidays AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Suspicious Cheating Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 834

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 568

You deserved it 19 251

The Top

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 451

You deserved it 3 538

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 616

You deserved it 1 667

Today, I woke up to my roommate's friend rustling in the attic without permission to be there. When I asked how he got in with all doors and windows locked, he simply said, "It's a secret." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 038

You deserved it 1 407

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 811

You deserved it 5 453

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 377

You deserved it 3 128

Today, a coworker asked me out and we’ve been on a few dates. I had no idea why she’d want to date me, until after we had sex and she started crying and confessed she was molested as a teen, and since her attacker was short and gross like me, she wanted to use me to work out her repressed issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 170