Weddings

Wedding shaming

By soccerbooty - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 467

You deserved it 8 299

Best day of your life

By Cellist - 14/12/2022 15:00

Today, it's the wedding of a two friends that I introduced each other to about a year ago. I'll be enjoying it on my couch. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 120

It's not me, it's you

By LoserSingleDude - 09/11/2022 12:00

Today, I found out about of my ex, who I was with for 6 years, getting married. Normally I wouldn’t care, except she rejected my marriage proposal just about a year ago, saying she wanted to “be single for a while and wasn’t ready.” I can’t help but think what does the other dude have that I don’t have that made her change her mind? FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 163

Jilting John

By Loveless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248 889

You deserved it 15 489

Highlight of the wedding

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 22:00

Today, despite his promise not to, my dad got completely shitfaced at my wedding reception. When we found him, he was passed out on the toilet with his pants down, penis out, and he’d shit all over himself, the toilet, and the floor. I thought I could trust him just this once, but now he’s dead to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 196

Illegal and stupid

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 12:00

Today, it was my stag do. One minute I was at the pub buying a drink, the rest was a blur until I woke up completely naked in an ambulance, with all my friends standing over me. They'd put sleeping pills in my drink and hired an ambulance. It was my stag do prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 187

All you need is love

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 00:00

Today, one of my sisters is getting married to the guy who bullied me so badly in high school I attempted suicide twice. She insists he’s changed, like I’m supposed to give a fuck. Every time he comes in the house, I want to either run and hide, or stab him in the face and cut off his balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 183

Couch fights!

By Butters - 24/09/2022 16:00 - Australia - Lathlain

Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 122

You must conform

By Anonymous - 18/09/2022 13:00

Today, my bestie had me kicked out of her wedding the day of. All because I altered my bridesmaid's dress without telling her. She knows I hate fabric against my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 2 274

A real pro

By weddingplannerlyfe - 16/09/2022 21:00

Today, I had the wedding from hell. Nope, not a bridezilla, but a makeup artist-zilla who caused the ceremony to begin over an hour and a half late, and then tried to charge the bride for her delays. She then went nuts when confronted with the reality of her poor time management. “Professional” my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 105

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 16/09/2022 11:00 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, it's one day away from my wedding and two days away from our honeymoon trip. Today is also the day that, after dodging it for two years, I got Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 122

Buddy Rich is not dead

By DrumrollPlease - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, my father informed me that he plans to play a drum solo instead of making a speech at my wedding. And yes, he IS completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 708

You deserved it 2 164

Not into it, sorry

By Foreverjerkingit - 11/09/2022 20:00

Today, it was my wedding night. My new wife decided that she was going to be “asexual” because “there are other ways to show your love without sex” and “If you wanna bust a nut, that’s what your hand is for.” She had the nerve to be confused as to why I am upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 371

Excuses excuses

By SharpeOne - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that my parents didn't come to my wedding not because they couldn't make it, but rather that my younger brother didn't want to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 205

You deserved it 2 659

Not coming

By L_M_AND_R_L - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I asked my mom not to bring her dog to my wedding, since he's a real pain in the ass. She told me not to worry about it because she didn't feel like going anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 675

You deserved it 1 304

They're much more fun

By Anonymous - 19/08/2022 14:00

Today, my wife and I had our first night without kids in 15 years, at a friend's wedding. In the middle of a song, while we were dancing, she left me to go dance with her new "gay best friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 149

Go home, you're drunk

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 00:00

Today, my Orthodox Jewish cousin’s father called his wife’s Reform Jewish family “a bunch of monkey lovers” in his Bat Mitzvah toast. Worst yet, he did basically the same thing at his daughter from his first marriage’s Bat Mitzvah toast, and mentioned this fact in the speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 120

Dirty dancing

By Fiesta - 17/08/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, we were at a wedding reception. I had to explain to my husband why it’s inappropriate for another woman to dance with her butt gyrating on his crotch. He insists it was “harmless dancing” and to stop being a “party pooper.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 203

Freak out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2022 10:00

Today, we got on the plane for our honeymoon and her parents were on the same damn plane, going to the same spa resort, in the room next door, and my wife has the nerve to tell me it was a coincidence. How we supposed to get our sexy freak on, sharing a bedroom wall with her repressed mother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 197

Happily married

By Anonymous - 06/08/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I read an FML about a garter toss. It made me remember my own garter toss. None of the guys at the wedding wanted to catch it, and visibly cringed at the idea of touching it. Ten years later, it's all been downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 205

Dad failed the vibe check

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 00:00

Today, my wedding went amazingly, aside from the fact that when I successfully got the garter off her thigh then tossed it behind me, her dad went out of his way to jump up and catch it. Let that be a lesson to not turn around and see who catches it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 169

Join the club

By Anonymous - 01/08/2022 14:00

Today, just walked in on my fiancé having a threesome with my brother and his husband. The wedding was supposed to be next week, and a lot of it is non-refundable FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 198

Sailing close the wind

By FvckMenSmh - 25/07/2022 14:00

Today, what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, my wedding day, turned into the day in hell. A friend caught my now ex kissing his friend outside. The girl he told me was “just a friend and nothing more” whenever I suspected there was indeed nothing more. Now I've found out in the worst way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 101

Cold feet

By whyamidoingit - 23/07/2022 18:00

Today, it's three days until I get married, and I can’t help but be nervous. Why? I wish I knew. I’m not scared of commitment, I’m happy to spend my life with him, so why the sudden panic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 198

Funny, huh?

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 14:00

Today, I was sole witness to an armed robbery. The police farted around so much while not letting me leave until they took my statement that I missed my own fucking wedding. I was in my suit, and literally begging to be allowed to leave. One even joked he was probably doing me a big favour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 133

Bridezilla

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 00:00

Today, my fiancée is a Marvel fan, and insists her wedding ring be made of Palladium, the stuff that powers Iron Man’s heart. A ring in the style she wants costs almost £1000 and we are not wealthy, the budget for the entire wedding is only £4000, but she insists or she won’t marry me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 376

What's up with your nose?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother and his girlfriend got married. I got a pretty bad pimple on my nose not long before, and I'd tried to pop it. It turned into a really bad scab instead, so I put makeup on it. I didn't notice until after the wedding that the makeup made the scab look badly infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 193

Bridezilla

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 04:00

Today, I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, but she doesn’t want me in the photos because I’m over a foot taller than her and the other bridesmaids, and it will look silly in the photos. I told her I won’t even bother attending, and mom actually took her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 110

Wedding from Wish

By not that cheap - 15/05/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me to quit my bitching and to just order a wedding dress off Wish. I'm willing to get an inexpensive dress and in fact I hate designer labels altogether. However, I draw the line at the cheap, poorly made crap from that site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 230

Not now

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 18:01 - United States - Morganville

Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 168

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 132

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 124

You deserved it 66 193

Today, my teacher gave me a 0% on my personal narrative in my writing class. His only comment on the whole paper was, "Too long, didn't read." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 010

You deserved it 2 564

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 110

You deserved it 5 872

Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 527

You deserved it 5 330

Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 396

You deserved it 2 531

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 740

You deserved it 3 597