Weird

Kinda sus

By JPlays - 13/09/2016 03:31 - United States - Henderson

Today, after days of working with a client on plans for a project, I received a message halfway through completion, saying the deal was off because my prices were "so low, it seems like a scam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 555

You deserved it 967

Odd

By StupidPets - 24/08/2016 03:09 - United States - Murrysville

Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 256

You deserved it 1 428

Why would you say that?

By Rowaelin16 - 23/08/2016 02:50 - United States - Chicago

Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 039

You deserved it 1 478

By TheVagabond_SRG - 02/08/2016 06:46 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 1 076

Don't date coworkers

By Pastrygirl - 11/07/2016 22:00

Today, while finishing up at work, I started helping a co-worker out with his workload since I'd finished mine. His girlfriend apparently didn't like this and started slamming things around, constantly muttering passive aggressive comments because she wanted to help him. I work with idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 649

You deserved it 902

Creepy

By Finn - 05/07/2016 06:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 496

You deserved it 977

Weirdo

By ReineXre - 15/06/2016 00:00

Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 731

Got away with it, surely?

By Cinnanyan - 02/06/2016 10:20 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 769

You deserved it 2 630

Trust

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 23:43 - United Kingdom - Broseley

Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 770

You deserved it 1 558

You freak

By Anonymous - 12/03/2016 11:13 - United Kingdom - London

Today, an attention-seeking weirdo who thinks she's my friend asked me who was going to be the maid of honour at my wedding. Knowing what she was really asking, I said I just want a small, non-fancy wedding without bridesmaids. She broke down into a sobbing mess in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 115

You deserved it 2 097

Busting makes me feel good

By NotASquirrel - 12/03/2016 05:29 - United States - Bronx

Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 937

You deserved it 1 298

By iSamsung - 06/03/2016 14:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to make new friends, so I sat with the lonely guy at lunch. Now he keeps following me, with his phone in a camera position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 745

You deserved it 2 488

Exorcism time

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 18:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a teacher told me in all seriousness that she believes my son, who has severe learning difficulties, is likely demonically possessed. I'm sorry, but what century are we living in? Now I have to get him moved to another school so he doesn't have to be in the care of this nutjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 180

You deserved it 1 911

Believe me!

By DieuEstUnHomme - 03/02/2016 15:44 - France - Reims

Today, while on the tramway with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 750

You deserved it 2 474

Resentful

By Anonymous - 20/01/2016 12:30 - United States - Redding

Today, nine years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late twenties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 056

You deserved it 1 575

Fear factor

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 06:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, neither I nor any of my coworkers understand why our boss hates me enough that I feel the need to carry pepperspray on me at all times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 058

You deserved it 1 607

Weird reason

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 10:33 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 148

You deserved it 3 452

Bullet dodged

By Alien - 29/12/2015 11:07 - Switzerland

Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 499

You deserved it 2 664

The customer is always right

By peachass - 29/12/2015 04:59 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 969

You deserved it 1 296

No! Noooo!

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 01:59 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 959

You deserved it 1 956

Confused

By anonymous - 12/12/2015 20:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my stepmom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a stepmom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 367

You deserved it 2 267

Good girl

By bianca131 - 10/11/2015 03:42 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 998

You deserved it 8 212

Where on Earth do you work?

By Embarrassed ass. - 23/10/2015 04:05 - United States - Oregon City

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 890

You deserved it 3 944

Weird assumption

By Anonymous - 12/10/2015 14:29 - United Kingdom - Hassocks

Today, my best friend told me how his batshit insane girlfriend keeps questioning his sexuality and thinks we're screwing behind her back. He's so desperate for a relationship that he's decided to stop hanging out with me. Goodbye seven years of friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 522

You deserved it 1 813

What the…

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 04:18 - United States - Lake Oswego

Today, at my annual checkup, the doc looks down at my foot and says, "Oh, you have an extra toenail. Six, huh?" Then sort of scraping at the side of my foot below the pinky toe, he pulls off a long piece of dead, dried skin and says, "Oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 068

You deserved it 6 386

AITA?

By briscoe - 29/09/2015 02:48 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was on the train next to an elderly woman. When I told her it was my stop, she turned her knees towards the aisle, and I, thinking that she was letting me go by, began to edge past. She screamed, "DON'T PUSH ME!" and the whole train turned to look. I was thus the asshole pushing the old lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 122

You deserved it 1 688

Dude, WTF is this?

By Anonymous - 28/09/2015 20:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 989

You deserved it 2 017

By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 269

You deserved it 2 303

Threatening

By supersplatoon - 08/09/2015 23:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 076

You deserved it 2 705

Connection

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 05:49 - Canada - London

Today, my coworker called me a liar when I said I've been to New York. This is the same psycho who honestly expects me to believe that she and Brad Pitt have a "thing" and that he secretly communicates with her through interviews on TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 894

You deserved it 1 814

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Cute Christmas Am I overreacting? Cats Holidays Gifts Awkward Shopping Hair Relatable Health Friends Poopoo peepee Education Money Gross Animals Cops Sex Intimacy Neighbours Smells Love Painful First Dates Grieving Social Media

The Top

Today, my son is apparently old enough for his dad to teach him the “Don’t tell mommy” game, such as, "Don’t tell mommy you had extra dessert", or "Don’t tell mommy it was daddy who accidentally broke the window with daddy’s secret new air rifle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 181

Today, I had to place a call home because a student was late every single day. The mom rudely replied, “Yeah well she doesn’t really like getting up in the mornings. Can’t you just wait and start class like 30 minutes later?” Now I have to have a conference with this spoiled brat and her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, my father accused me of not taking care of my 15-month-old son, who is putting on weight slowly because of starting to walk and run. Come on, for a man who sees his grandchildren two or three times a year and never gives his daughter a call, who gave him the courage? FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 123

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 009

You deserved it 14 738

Today, and even at this very moment, my ex, who I'm still in love with, is having sex with her new boyfriend. He's my neighbor and she's making a lot more noise with him than she did with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 360

You deserved it 7 027

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 567

You deserved it 5 863

Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 333

You deserved it 1 608

Today, I'm so afraid of Covid, I lied to my friends to avoid hanging out with them every time I was invited. Yes, I've been vaccinated already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 1 342