Animals: Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove...

By piercednipple - 30/06/2015 16:02 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 068

You deserved it 2 762

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Same thing different taste

Kinky Crab

By Robert Herrin - 14/08/2018 18:30

Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 2 132

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 486

Carly Rae Jepsen

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 23:00

Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 246

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 166

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 711

You deserved it 9 798

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 1 378

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 695

You deserved it 3 532

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 254

You deserved it 5 275

By cdn_steed - 23/04/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 973

You deserved it 4 662

By corasmom - 27/07/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 874

You deserved it 10 543

jimmer23 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:23

My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

sarah5745 41

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:20

Holy shit!

Comments

sarah5745 41

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:20

Holy shit!

MissCloudy249 14

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:26

Funny, I said the exact same thing after I read this. It's just really all you CAN say.

shmoooopie 29

Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:04

Holy nipple!

NoName011 12

Wednesday 1 July 2015 2:21

Reading this FML just makes me cringe...ouch.

iseebearbears 27

Wednesday 1 July 2015 6:39

@21, wholey nipple*

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Wednesday 1 July 2015 6:45

It's always the quiet ones...

blinked_281 29

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:21

Cheaper than going to a pro piercer right?

MeanBeagle 22

Wednesday 1 July 2015 5:38

maybe not depending on infections...

neilmalik 12

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:21

Through your nipple?

airbear18 15

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:29

they have sharp teeth my cousin owned one and it bit my finger :(

MyUsernameisEpic 29

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:22

He knows what he wants.

davidpropert 32

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:31

He saw a chance and he took it

jimmer23 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:23

My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

rockninja 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:26

omg that is just not okay. nope not at all

Rinat_fml 26

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:26

Guys are worse tbh. #slutpost

stryder9090 28

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:31

Some people pay good dollars for similar procedures

toasterspoon 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:37

Op did not deserve any of that

Ted_brosby 4

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:37

Hope OP is not a girl. And before you say why does it matter. Because no one really cares about a dudes nipples.

toasterspoon 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:39

Would still hurt like hell though

Zaketh2112 10

Wednesday 1 July 2015 2:59

**** that. I care about my man-nips

LeashaJoy5595 28

Wednesday 1 July 2015 3:57

Unfortunately she is a girl, it's on the top left. I'm sure it was pure agony, no one deserves that!

toasterspoon 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 18:28

Agreed #39

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The Top

Today, my sister, who used to be my best friend, texted me asking why we never talk anymore. Hmm, maybe it’s because she stopped answering my calls, texts, carrier pigeons, smoke signals, psychic reachings, and every other form of communication since she got a new boyfriend six months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 145

Today, my mom texted me in the middle of my end of term math exam, saying it was extremely urgent and needed me to come home ASAP. While skipping my exam, I finally got home to find out my mom forgot what the emergency was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 6 163

The Top

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 506

You deserved it 5 645

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 161

You deserved it 12 400

Today, I was directing traffic at work during one of the hottest days of the year. Not only do I have to stand in the heat and exhaust fumes for minimum wage, I also had to endure people asking me "Aren't you hot?" as they drove past me in their air conditioned cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 348

You deserved it 3 635

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 419

Today, I received the honorary title of "Student of the Month," because I'm the only quiet kid during class. Truth is, I just have no friends. I was given an award for being socially awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 800

You deserved it 2 515

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 885

You deserved it 4 112

Same thing different taste

Kinky Crab

Carly Rae Jepsen

Poor little guy

Red or grey?

Top comments

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