Animals: Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove... - FML

By piercednipple - 30/06/2015 16:02 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 067

You deserved it 2 760

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Same thing different taste

Kinky Crab

By Robert Herrin - 14/08/2018 18:30

Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 2 131

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 486

Carly Rae Jepsen

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 23:00

Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 246

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 162

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 709

You deserved it 9 797

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 375

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 693

You deserved it 3 530

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 253

You deserved it 5 275

By cdn_steed - 23/04/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 972

You deserved it 4 661

By corasmom - 27/07/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 872

You deserved it 10 542

Next

Top comments

jimmer23 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:23

My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

sarah5745 41

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:20

Holy shit!

Comments

Emmamazing 26

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:45

Hey, free nipple piercing! You just gotta look on the bright side

coraline123c 23

Thursday 2 July 2015 5:13

Someone already made that joke

raesos91 26

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:50

was it lefty or righty?

Ichiya 29

Wednesday 1 July 2015 6:35

It was actually her nubin (third nipple) and she rather enjoyed it.

nikki465 14

Wednesday 1 July 2015 10:38

That made me cringe...

trey600rr 22

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:56

guess your not into that kind of stuff huh...lol

KatPlaysMC 14

Wednesday 1 July 2015 3:31

*you're

writerchic85 25

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:58

A great adventure is waiting for you ahead...

sandman676 20

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:59

Kinky

daddysgirl243 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:11

that sounds kinky

chuka81 27

Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:17

A pet rat. Wonderful.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 1 July 2015 6:34

Gerbil...not rat 23

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Friday 10 July 2015 14:53

And pet rats actually are wonderful anyway. ;) They're not disease ridden or pests like most people think. They're very sweet animals that clean themselves like cats and play with you and can learn tricks like dogs.

pajamajeans 18

Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:26

I have a gerbil bite scar on my finger. I can only imagine the pain that op is feeling.

91hayek 31

Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:39

Some girls wouldn't call this an FML. In fact they'd buy several gerbils and install car alarms everywhere.

Miss_Syntax 15

Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:46

Poor little guy. I'm sure he didn't mean it!

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The Top

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

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You deserved it 8 222

Good morning guys! Today's interview has been done in some extreme circumstances. It was about 36° Celsius, and half of the Completely Serious Comics crew was working while the other one was cooking. Well, it was a bit crazy as you can imagine. So m...

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The Top

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 041

You deserved it 3 030

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 325

You deserved it 38 090

Today, I was sitting down to do my homework when I severely sprained my ankle. I live on the third floor and can’t walk far without severe pain, and I'm broke, so a compression bandage is out of the question. I can’t wait until the first of the month when I get paid again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 145

Today, I found out that the small bugs I've been blowing off my pillow all year are in fact baby cockroaches. I discover this when I found two full grown ones crawling around and decided to Google it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 448

You deserved it 917

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a major scholarship competition. After months of waiting, during which my parents were convinced I had won, I discovered that my entry had never been received. Apparently the woman I had confirmed with had had a long day, and lied so that she could go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 940

You deserved it 2 876

Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 621

You deserved it 4 140