Sex, Weird, Awkward and Intimacy: Alexa, play "Touched by the Hand of God" by New Order - FML

Alexa, play "Touched by the Hand of God" by New Order

By lils - 05/08/2012 17:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 141

You deserved it 3 099

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 779

You deserved it 5 152

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 451

You deserved it 7 332

By eeh - 07/05/2009 14:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 103 460

By say my name - 01/07/2012 01:35

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 395

You deserved it 11 426

No gods no masters

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 09:00 - United States - North Royalton

Spicy

Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 171

Confusing love triangle

By Perry85 - 04/01/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 3 607

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 600

You deserved it 3 842

By nraecher - 23/03/2013 04:43 - Canada - Ajax

Spicy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 045

You deserved it 8 825

Who am I?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2020 08:01

Spicy

Today, while having hot passionate sex with my boyfriend, while I was moaning his name, he was coming to release and yelled out, "NO, THIS IS PATRICK!" His name isn't Patrick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 487

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 02:48 - United States - Gainesboro

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 223

You deserved it 4 935

Next

Top comments

StripedSwtor 7

Monday 6 August 2012 2:39

he's screwed if you guys have a son

oicu812xD 16

Monday 6 August 2012 2:37

You'll feel real stupid when your future daughter has that name: P haha but seriously you have to give him credit for trying

Comments

Miguel Lopez 8

Sunday 18 March 2018 6:31

Moan another guys name next time and give him the same excuse lol

Keywords

My ex Love Shopping Family Holidays Vacation AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Harassment Miscellaneous Relatable Engagement Food Ironic Health Work Technology Awkward Money Singing Embarrassing Kids Party Sex Cute Revenge Mental health Covid

The Top

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I checked my Facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption, "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 155

You deserved it 41 032

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 178

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready." He then looked at me and said, "Maybe you should." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 928

You deserved it 7 735

Today, my deadbeat dad threatened to press charges against me for harassment if I ever contact him again. I've contacted him twice in the last two years, once to tell him he was going to be a grandfather, and once to send him a birthday card from my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 738

You deserved it 1 838

Today, I was suffering from acid reflux. I was told that drinking water laced with baking soda would help. Nope, all it did was create a huge belch that made me vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 508

You deserved it 3 667

Today, my boyfriend bitched about the fact that I hadn't purchased parking to attend the football game I got us tickets for as his birthday present ($750). I purchased parking for $190 and now he’s bitching that I didn’t buy pregame passes - another $170! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 171

Today, I realized I'm very much in love with my old boyfriend. I got married to someone else a few months ago, who I also very much love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 224

Today, I have been working a childhood dream job, getting paid more than a doctor gets paid, to just sit around, smoke weed, and play video games. From sitting down for so long I have a tailbone infection and I bleed all day from it. I've gained over 40kg, I've lost all social contacts. Is it worth it for 15k a month? FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 838