Cars and Health: Amazing timing

Amazing timing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Antelope

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 124

You deserved it 4 412

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Same thing different taste

By onemoredonut - 03/05/2016 01:39 - United States - Herndon

Today, while directing traffic in uniform, I tripped over a traffic cone and fell straight on my butt in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 713

You deserved it 1 312

By munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 42 494

By MasterMcrib - 17/04/2016 20:33 - United States - Highland Park

Today, while walking down the street I thought it would be funny to moon a crowd of old people taking a photo, in a few seconds a couple of them started pointing in my direction... Turns out they were pointing at the car that ran me over shortly after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 825

You deserved it 36 202

By Anonymous - 18/06/2012 14:39 - Canada - Markham

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 239

You deserved it 2 741

By Imwalkinghere - 04/11/2016 01:26 - United States

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 052

You deserved it 695

Bystander

By Chops - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 315

You deserved it 4 523

Funny how?

By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 306

You deserved it 285 180

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 143

By ttsutaoka - 11/07/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 063

You deserved it 2 786

By WTF - 27/09/2015 07:57 - Poland - Wroclaw

Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 690

You deserved it 1 554

Jak_Griffin 5

Sunday 23 February 2014 1:02

Hopefully you didn't get a conecussion

star14394 20

Sunday 23 February 2014 1:01

People like the bystanders are idiots....sorry about your head

Comments

ExiledRemixx 13

Sunday 23 February 2014 17:36

Reminds me of halo 3. Just saying.

shadypalmtree 20

Sunday 23 February 2014 18:28

it wasnt you it was your grandfather... karma skipped a generation

Omniprism 14

Sunday 23 February 2014 20:50

They didn't ask you if you were alright? Those cones have a hard base to stand on...I hope your ok. It probably looked funny but still.

Xilliva 6

Monday 24 February 2014 6:48

Your past life deserves it. But seriously, that sucks.

LocsOn 13

Monday 24 February 2014 21:07

who remebers this happening in Halo!?! xbox ftw

ragini95 16

Saturday 1 March 2014 23:16

Hope your head is fine! :)

cwl727 32

Thursday 13 March 2014 19:21

Did anybody come help you?

1DisGR8 32

Thursday 15 May 2014 5:45

The way you worded this made it a lot funnier

bassfisher100 23

Monday 28 September 2015 23:32

im leaving the cone puns to everyone else i dont have any good ones

CryoticShell 14

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:09

Straight outta Halo 3, am I right?

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work Mental health Awkward Relatable Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Family Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Cute Animals Dogs Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 444

Nooooo, I'm not interviewing Candy Staton, and nooooo I'm not going to talk about the Avengers but guys this isn't 9gag so let me introduce you to the fresh new artist we're welcoming today! She's a lovely lady who lives in Vancouver and she's the au...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 141

You deserved it 4 339

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 391

You deserved it 2 551

Today, a very rude older woman came in wanting to buy her first laptop. After a full hour showing her laptops and all the stuff you can do with them, she decided she didn’t want one. As a bonus, she told my manager, “He’s not very good at his job, is he?” Walk toward the light, you grave-dodging old bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 119

Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 997

You deserved it 6 577

Today, I received a toll bill via email. The photograph showed a white pickup truck. I drive a blue Honda Element. At lease the license plates have the same letters on them… but in a different order. Apparently the software that matches plates is dyslexic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 87

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 694

You deserved it 6 326