Farts, Cute and Love: An attempt was made

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 798

You deserved it 11 967

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Same thing different taste

Holy eyesight, Batman!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 22:00

Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 1 214

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 3 580

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 454

You deserved it 4 993

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 764

You deserved it 6 705

By combovercaiti_ - 25/01/2019 12:00

Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 289

You deserved it 372

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 732

You deserved it 10 934

By beriles - 15/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 159

You deserved it 8 443

By Mark - 30/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 450

You deserved it 74 955

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

Ethan_Anonymous 28

Tuesday 20 October 2015 18:00

I hate when I'm checking out a girl and they try to show off. Like really, if I'm checking you out and you notice and are into me, just talk to me

Wizardo 33

Tuesday 20 October 2015 17:59

Warning shots fired.

Comments

lulinator 40

Tuesday 20 October 2015 18:50

Must have been a quiet bar. No bar I've ever been to you'd actually be able to hear anyone fart over the music and the voices.

SecundusSecunda 27

Tuesday 20 October 2015 18:58

Bubble fart bubble fart bubble bubble fart

Rainyknights22 16

Tuesday 20 October 2015 18:58

I would've died laughing lol

greg84_fml 21

Wednesday 21 October 2015 10:14

I almost did reading this fml.

oobergoober89 16

Tuesday 20 October 2015 19:20

Bubble wrap is supposed to be stress relieving, not inducing

martin8337 35

Tuesday 20 October 2015 19:40

His loss,.

orios105 18

Tuesday 20 October 2015 19:42

if was the guy I probably would of laughed. I mean everybody farts. I wouldn't have left just like that.

Kevinmeowbeanz 22

Tuesday 20 October 2015 19:43

that's hot

hardcorefan16 22

Tuesday 20 October 2015 19:51

Never bend down. You never know what is going to happen!

beeferjay 34

Tuesday 20 October 2015 23:42

that's what I told her...

steam_engenius 21

Tuesday 20 October 2015 19:52

How could you not know that would happen if your gas was that bad? I mean, that really sucks. But I guess I can't imagine not feeling that beforehand or not being able to hold it.